Star Ocean Big Brother
by Levallia
Summary: Like the popular reality tv show, but with the Star Ocean characters as the cast! My very first fanfic! Rated T for extreme violence, language, drug and alcohol use, and some humor not appropriate for kids. Reviewers will be loved 'till the end of time!
1. Chapter 1

Hi! Ok, for copyright purposes: I don't own Star Ocean or any other shows or characters mentioned in this fanfic. Though I will throw in a few originals here and there later on, just for kicks.

I would also like to ask that you please not hate me for making fun of the characters, I tried to pick on them all equally...well...Roger seems to get the worst of it, but...ya know, I HAD to have someone to deal out the most punishment to, just to make it funnier. So anyway, please don't hate me, I tried to make it mostly even out. And thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this; it really means a lot to me:D

**Star Ocean: Till the End of Time**

**Big Brother**

Week 1, Day 1

Thousands of screaming fans stand outside the Big Brother house, cheering loudly for the contestants as their limos arrive. One by one, the stars of "Star Ocean: Till the End of Time" step out of their limos. They walk with an air of arrogance as the fans scream louder and the paparazzi take picture after picture. Cliff and Adray pose for pictures and Sophia screams about how cameras add ten pounds, running into the house to escape. Roger is prancing around arrogantly, not watching where he's going and trips over a cable on the ground, falling and cutting himself on a sharp rock that appeared out of nowhere; he is then carried into the house by his personal team of paramedics, who proceed to stitch up the gash on his head. Mirage and Maria don't seem to take notice of the cameras and instead walk into the house, passing Peppita, who is busy doing tricks to get the cameras to focus on her. Nel looks about nervously for a moment at all the flashing cameras and screaming fans, looking something like a deer caught in headlights, and then makes a mad dash for the door. Fayt steps out of his car, making the peace sign and shouting about world peace. He is suddenly knocked off his feet by Albel, who screams about what a stupid hippy Fayt is. Security guards start to close in on the irate Glyphian, who tries frantically to hop away, his movement impeded by the straitjacket and the restraints on his ankles (a necessity after he gored a photographer at another event); he falls on his face and is dragged into the house kicking and screaming Elicoorian curses. Fayt is helped up and walks into the house, still holding up the peace sign.

Once inside, everyone runs to pick out their rooms. Nel runs to the basement, choosing that as her room for strategic purposes. Cliff and Adray run toward a large room, so desperate to beat each other that they run into the door frames, allowing Mirage to walk casually in to claim the room. Maria chooses the room next-door to Mirage. Sophia runs for a large room, one that can fit all her exercise equipment, and Peppita chooses the one next to it. Fayt, Cliff and Adray choose rooms on the second floor that are next door to each other. Roger and Albel race for the largest room left, the two of them getting the latest start for the room race because Roger had to be stitched up after his accident and it took awhile to remove Albel's restraints, as he kept trying to bite the security guards. Albel turns his head to see the little half-raccoon punk gaining on him and starts screaming about how a stupid, scrawny rodent doesn't need such a big room, when he plows right into the door frame. Roger skips happily into the room, shouting insults back at the hapless Glyphian who rolls around on the floor outside, holding his bloody nose and screaming muffled profanities.

Everyone starts unpacking their luggage. Nel places all kinds of security equipment and spy gear on the shelves of her basement room. Sophia has Cliff and Fayt set up her exercise equipment before they can unpack. Mirage meticulously unpacks her clothes, placing them in drawers. Maria unloads her collection of guns, hiding them in strategic locations around the room in case of emergencies. Peppita upends a huge duffel bag, pouring a large mound of stuffed animals in the middle of her floor. Roger has his team of paramedics install child safety devices all over his room, covering sharp corners and such with rounded plastic caps. Cliff tosses his bag down beside his bed and starts rummaging through it, then realizes that there is a camera in the room. He covers the camera and the sound of him rummaging through his bag can be heard again, and then what sounds like magazines being flipped through and hidden. Adray is seen putting pictures of his daughter Clair on the shelf in his room. Fayt's camera is also covered, but the cameras pick up a strange rattling sound, like plastic bags. Albel throws his luggage down angrily and fishes a phone book out of one of the cabinets in the room. He flips through it and, finding the number he wants, starts to dial the phone, a malicious grin on his face. Unbeknownst to him, all the phones in the house are tapped.

phone ringing "Hello, Animal Control, how may I help you?", a woman's voice answers.

"I'm calling to report a raccoon problem," Albel says, stifling laughter. He proceeds to tell the woman the address of the Big Brother house and which room is 'infested'. She tells him that someone is on the way and he hangs up, laughing maniacally. He then starts hiding various knives and other sharp, pointy objects around the room, such as under the sheets and on the blades of the ceiling fan, laughing like the madman that he is all the while.

Roger sits in his room, playing with his action figures in a fortress of pillows. He pretends that three of them are his arch rivals from back home in Surferio, two more are his friends Dribe and Melt, and that the last one (also the biggest and most macho looking one) is himself. His gang of action figures is whaling on the other three when two large men in Animal Control uniforms storm into his room, catch him in a net and carry him out while he screams about what morons they are.

"You sure this is the raccoon problem that guy called about?" one asks the other.

"Well did you see anything else in there raccoon-like?" he answers.

"Nah, I guess you're right," he says and continues walking.

Seeing what's going on, Sophia and Peppita rush out to intercept the Animal Control guys, explaining that Roger isn't a wild animal, just a Menodix. They finally get through to the guys, who let the little brat off with only rabies vaccinations. Roger trudges back upstairs in a foul mood and walks to his room to find the door closed and all of his stuff broken and thrown haphazardly into the hallway. He flings open the door and sees Albel mounting his collection of katanas on the walls.

"You bastard!" the raccoon kid yells, "You called them!"

Albel just laughs smugly and continues unpacking. Roger runs forward blindly, screaming at him. The Glyphian steps aside and the little brat slams into the wall, the vibrations knocking down all the katanas, which land on (you guessed it) Roger. The paramedics rush Roger out of the room for more stitches and Albel laughs maniacally once more as he cleans his swords and puts them back up on the wall.

Everyone has relaxed and seem to be slowly forgetting about the tv cameras, falling into their regular behavior. Sophia has returned to her room and is running on her treadmill. Peppita is playing tea party with her stuffed animals. Cliff's camera is still covered and all that can be heard is magazine pages being turned and whistles. Adray is watching samurai movies on his tv. Mirage and Maria are talking and laughing in the living room. Nel is setting up row upon row of monitors on the shelves in her room and unpacking small objects which she handles very carefully. Albel is chuckling evilly to himself, thinking of all the pain his hidden knives will inflict on the little raccoon kid. Fayt's camera is still covered and we hear a smoke detector go off; a loud crash is heard though and the shrill beeping ceases. Roger moves his broken things into his new room and flops down on the bed, only to be rushed out again by his paramedics with a knife in his back (geez, I wonder where that came from).

It is now dinner time and everyone rushes to the dining room. Cliff and Adray race to see who can eat the fastest, while Fayt seems to scoff everything in the vicinity, eating more than even the much bigger guys. Sophia eats her minuscule serving of tofu politely, chewing slowly and not talking with her mouth full. Nel's eyes dart back and forth to the others around the table as she eats quickly before rushing back to her room. Peppita is making a huge mess with her nonexistent table manners (she was raised in a circus after all), disgusting everyone else, especially Maria and Mirage who, like Sophia, eat politely. Roger, angry about all the Albel related injuries he's had, uses his spoon like a catapult to send a wad of mashed potatoes flying across the table at the unsuspecting general; the potatoes hit their mark, splattering right between Albel's eyes. The rest of dinner time is occupied by everyone trying to hold the enraged Albel down, while Roger runs away screaming like a ninny. However, the clumsy brat manages to trip over a phone cord and go flying into a glass cabinet. Yet another stitch up.

Not much of interest happened after dinner and soon everyone was off to bed. Fayt, Cliff, and Adray are passed out in their rooms after their drinking contest. Peppita has practically buried herself in a pile of stuffed animals. Roger is lying in his bed, bandaged like a mummy, as he had turned his ceiling fan on earlier, bringing down a rain of daggers on himself. Sophia's camera is covered now, but the sound of boxes and plastic wrappers can be heard, as well as muffled munching. Maria is sleeping with a gun in one hand, mumbling something. Albel is obviously having nightmares, as he is screaming loudly and flailing around in his sleep. Mirage seems to be practicing martial arts in her sleep. Only one person is missing: Nel.

A dark blur darts past the hall camera swiftly and silently. It's Nel. She sneaks into one room after the other, placing small hidden cameras in inconspicuous places. She then runs back to her room and goes to sleep.

Day 2

In the morning, everyone rushes to the dining room for breakfast. They eat quickly, almost obnoxiously, trying to get to their daily routines. Today, the cameras will follow Roger.

After breakfast, Roger, who has surprisingly good hygiene, goes to brush his teeth. The toothbrush seems to shred his gums though and upon closer inspection, he discovers that ahem SOMEONE has hidden small shards of broken glass among the bristles. After having his personal paramedics stitch his lacerated gums he begins to scheme about how to get back at the 'Wicked One'.

He paces up and down the floor, thinking hard. "Aha!" he shouts, bringing his fist down into the palm of his other hand, forgetting that he had been holding a pair of scissors in his fist (for no apparent reason what-so-ever), and stabbing them through his palm. Another stitch up by his paramedics. That over, he resumes his plotting.

"I'll poison his lunch!" he schemes, "That jerk won't know what hit him!" Roger then rushes down to the kitchen. He digs around under the sink for every cleaning chemical he can find and mixes them all into a small glass vial. He laughs a lame little evil laugh and scampers back up the stairs.

To occupy the time before he can implicate his master plan, he finds Peppita and they play with her stuffed animals together. A wire in the leg of one of the animals slips out and pokes him in the eye, however, and he must spend the rest of the day wearing an eye patch.

Lunch time finally comes and Roger gets to the dining room before anyone else, giving him plenty of time to poison the lunch of his arch nemesis. Everyone takes their seats and Roger stares gleefully at Albel, just waiting for him to take a bite of his contaminated food.

Albel, just raising the first fork full of food to his mouth, notices the look Roger is giving him and looks down at his plate, realizing just in time what is going on. "Hey, rodent fool," he says, "isn't that a knife behind you?"

"HUH!" Roger yells, whirling around to look behind him in terror. While the little rodent is turned Albel quickly switches their plates. "There was nothing behind me, you moron!" the brat yells. Albel laughs, "Fool". Roger proceeds to scoff the spiked food and watch Albel for any signs of the poison taking effect.

Albel is now laughing quietly to himself, irritating Roger. "What's so funny, you big dummy?" he asks irritably.

"Scrawny fool," Albel replies, still laughing.

"What do ya'..." Roger starts to ask, when he suddenly begins to feel very sick. Realizing what has happened, he runs to the bathroom to puke. Albel throws back his head and laughs maniacally and the others scoot away from him nervously.

Roger's paramedics pump his stomach, but it will still be awhile before he's well enough to resume normal activity. He spends the rest of the day in bed.

Day 3

Today we will follow Fayt's activity, as we are quite concerned with his odd behavior. We've tapped into Nel's surveillance system in order to bypass the covered camera. It is very early in the morning and Fayt sits in a large beanbag chair in the center of his smoke-filled room. His back is turned to the camera, but he can be heard singing stupid songs and giggling. He waves his hand around and the joint he is smoking is plainly visible. He rants on about world peace and how everyone should just be friends.

He hears the call for breakfast and, taking one last huge drag, puts out his joint in the carpet and runs downstairs. At the breakfast table, his severe case of the munchies is obvious as he scarfs down everything he can get his hands on, even food off other peoples' plates. When reaching for Nel's food, his hand is blasted by a mild runological attack. He tries to grab Roger's food, but the tiny Menodix growls warningly at him. He reaches slowly toward Albel's plate, but is quickly discouraged as the Glyphian brings his katana down just between Fayt's fingers, glaring menacingly at him. Giving up, he wanders into the living room and plops down on the couch.

The others follow shortly, settling down to read, watch tv, or in the case of the children, play with stuffed animals. Cliff, drunk already, accidentally knocks a glass coffee table over on Roger, spilling everyone's hot coffee onto him. The mugs and table break as well, leaving Roger bloodied and burned. Fayt is laughing stupidly, obviously still stoned, while Sophia and Peppita help the paramedics take Roger away.

They sit in silence again for awhile before Maria starts to sniff. "You guys smell something burning?" she asks. The others start to sniff the air and agree, except Fayt, who is still too out of it to care. They look up and see smoke billowing out from around Fayt's closed door. Albel, looking terrified, flees the house quickly, knocking over anything and everything in his path in his desperate rush to get away from the fire. They watch the pyrophobiac in shocked silence for a moment before calling the Fire Department.

Luckily the firemen were able to contain the fire to Fayt's room and put it out before it could spread. They found that it had been started by the joint he had oh-so-negligently put out in the carpet. They also managed to get Albel out of the tree he had climbed to escape the fire and gotten himself stuck in (obviously, Glyphians don't climb trees well). And Roger found himself injured once again when, stepping out of his room to see what all the commotion was, one of the firemen's axes bounced off Fayt's door and lodged itself in his head. Another stitch up for him. Needless to say, everyone is VERY upset at Fayt right now.

Fayt is just beginning to come out of his pot induced stupor and to realize just what has happened. The evil glares of his house mates are scaring him.

"Fayt!" Sophia yells, grabbing his ear and twisting it, "Don't you know how bad drugs are for you!"

"I only smoke a little," he lies, trying to escape Sophia's grip on his ear.

"Not according to the firemen," Maria starts in on him, "they said they found a huge stash taped to the underside of your mattress!"

"I swear," Fayt pleads, "it's not mine! I'm just holding it for a friend!"

"Suuuuuuuure ya' are, kido," Cliff joins in, "then tells we who's this hic 'friend' 'a yurz iss. belch"

"It's...uh...," he looks around the room, "it's Nel!" He points frantically toward Nel, who throws a dagger in his direction. Fayt ducks, and the dagger hits Roger, who has just come downstairs after having his axe wound repaired. His paramedics take him away again.

Sophia twists his ear again, "You liar!"

"Alright, alright!" he yells, giving in to the torture, "It's mine!"

"Hippy fool!" Albel yells, taking this opportunity to toss in an insult. Sophia glares at him, picks up a book and throws it at him. He ducks and it goes flying past, to where Roger is standing, just returned from having his wound stitched (his paramedics have become masters of speedy surgery, functioning something like a NASCAR pit crew). It flies several feet over his head and crashes behind him.

"Ha!" he laughs, "It didn't hit me this time! I guess I..." he is cut off as the glass cabinet the book hit behind him comes crashing down on top of him, cutting the bratty little Menodix to pieces. You guessed it; his paramedics carry him away.

Everyone turns to look at Sophia in shock. "I didn't mean to hurt Roger!" she yells. She picks up a lamp and proceeds to chase Albel around the house, swinging blindly in fury at the fleeing Glyphian. Fayt uses the confusion as cover for his escape.

He runs to a closet on the other side of the house and hides in it. He digs around in the stacked sheets and finds the large bag of weed he had hidden there the day before. "Ha!" he laughs, "They thought I only had one stash! I've got stashes hidden all over this house!" He laughs to himself as he rolls up another joint and uses symbology to light it. He smokes in peace for about half an hour before the door flies open and Albel jumps in, slamming it behind him.

"What a psychotic bitch!" he whisper yells, panting. He smells the smoke in the closet and turns to come face to face with a stoned Fayt. "You fool!" he yells, "Have you not yet learned your lesson! You're going to burn the damn house down!"

"Whazzup?" Fayt asks stupidly. "How ya' doin' Al 'ol pal?"

"You are SERIOUSLY fucked up if you think we're pals, you worthless maggot!" Albel yells. "And I used to consider you a worthy adversary! Ha! You're just a stupid pot-head!"

They hear Sophia run by and go quickly silent, praying that she passes them by. When her footsteps fade, Fayt starts to giggle. Albel turns slowly back to him, asking irritably between clenched teeth, "What now, fool?"

"You're my beeeeeest friend," Fayt says, so completely out of it, "I love you, man! Gimme a hug!"

Albel screams in sheer terror and bursts through the closet door, making an Albel shaped hole in it. He is followed closely by Fayt, who is staggering after him, running into things along the way.

A drunken Cliff, upon seeing this laughs hysterically, telling the others, "Looky at dat! Fayt 'n Albel jussst came out 'a da closet!" He then passes out on the floor.

AUDIENCE: Oh, that zany Cliff!

The day ends with a stoned Fayt and enraged Sophia chasing Albel around the house. Cliff continues to make obscene closet jokes after regaining consciousness and Albel throws his katana at him as he runs past, but misses and hits Roger instead. Later, as Sophia is gaining on her prey and swinging the lamp around more viciously, she accidentally clobbers Roger with it, shattering it over his head.

Day 4

Today, we turn our cameras on Maria, who is busy planning something. She whispers with Mirage and Sophia at breakfast, the three of them often looking up at Fayt, who is stoned again. Breakfast was relatively uneventful, except that Roger somehow managed to get a fork stuck in his forehead and bleed all over the table.

Later, after much planning and preparation, Maria calls Fayt into the living room. Everyone in the house is sitting there and she tells him to take a seat, seating herself in the only other chair.

"What's all this about?" Fayt asks, confused, "Why is everybody here?"

"Fayt," Maria starts, "we're here to help you with your drug problem."

"What problem?" he asks, "I don't have a problem."

Maria, Sophia, and Mirage exchange looks, "Denial!"

"Fayt," Sophia says, "we're here because we care about you!"

"Except me!" shouts Albel, who is wrapped from shoulders to ankles in rope, "I'm only here because these maggots tied me to this chair!" He continues to screech profanities and strain against the ropes that bind him.

"Cliff," Mirage says.

"With pleasure," he answers, getting up out of his chair and fishing a handkerchief out of his pocket. He approaches the screeching Albel and ties the handkerchief in his mouth as a gag. The enraged general continues to scream, but his cries are muffled and the others ignore him.

"Anyway," Maria continues, "Sophia is right, Fayt. We're here to help you because we're your friends and you have a problem that is damaging to your health. We wouldn't do this if we didn't care about you. Just tell us why you smoke pot and we'll do whatever we can to help you. Just tell us how you feel."

They hear racket on the other side of the room and look up to where Albel has gotten onto his feet and is frantically trying to hop out of the room, despite the fact that he has a chair tied to his backside. Adray sticks his foot out and trips the hapless Glyphian, who falls on his face. Roger laughs hysterically, slapping the wooden arm of the couch; somehow, a nail in the arm has worked its way free and turned itself upward, stabbing into Roger's hand. He is carried away by his paramedics again. Adray gets another rope and tethers Albel's chair to the couch.

"But, I'm telling you," Fayt says, "I don't have a problem! I just smoke a little bit for my nerves! And what about Cliff! He walks around drunk all the time; if anyone has a problem, it's him!"

Maria, Sophia, and Mirage exchange looks again, "Excuses! Changing the subject!"

"Stop doing that!" Fayt yells.

"Please let us help you, Fayt!" Sophia pleads, "We just want to help you! You mean so much to us!"

The couch suddenly lurches sideways and everyone looks to the side to see Albel frantically trying to escape, pulling the couch along with him. All this talk of feelings and affection is making him retch. Cliff sighs in exasperation and beats Albel over the head with a club that appeared out of nowhere, knocking him unconscious.

"Just leave me alone!" Fayt yells, throwing his arms to the sides forcefully, irritated. One of his arms hits a lamp on the nearby end table. The lamp goes soaring through the air and hits Roger as he is coming back down the stairs, shattering and cutting him up again. More stitches! Fayt uses the ensuing chaos to escape to another closet stash, disappearing for the rest of the day.

When the furor dies down, Maria realizes that Fayt has disappeared and throws a tantrum. She is throwing things around and they all manage to ricochet off walls and large objects, hitting Roger every time, leaving him a bloody pulp. She storms up to her room and spends the rest of the day sulking in there. Not much else happens, except that everyone else forgets about the now silent Albel, leaving him tied up in the chair all night.

Day 5

As the new day begins, we decide to turn our cameras to the most explosive member of the Big Brother house: Albel. With the personality of nitroglycerin, he should be quite entertaining.

Albel regains consciousness to find himslef still bound and gagged. He is extremely irate and, with nothing better to do, begins planning all the horrible things he's going to do to everyone. He sees Nel walk by and starts making a fuss to get her attention. She looks over and is surprised to see him still there, only then remembering that they had forgotten all about him. She unties him and he dashes off into the early morning shadows, scheming unspeakable evil.

He's in the kitchen when someone knocks on the door. He answers it and the mail man hands him a letter and leaves. He opens it and reads 'First Challenge', but he can't be bothered with such trivial matters now and throws it aside. He then runs up to his room. Nel retrieves the envelope and reads the letter as she drinks her morning coffee.

He stands in front of his 'Wall of Weapons', trying to decide on the perfect weapon for his revenge. He finally selects a huge mace, laughing maniacally as he lifts it from its wall mount. He creeps down the stairs and slinks into the kitchen where everyone has gathered for breakfast. With their faces bent down to their plates, no one notices as he sneaks up behind Fayt, raising the mace, which must weigh almost as much as himself, over his head, preparing to bring it down on the 'blue-haired, pot-smoking fool'.

"Hey," Nel starts, still facing her food. Albel freezes, mace suspended over his head. "We got a letter this morning." Cliff looks up at her, but notices Albel standing over Fayt, brandishing his mace. Caught red-handed, the Glyphian drops the mace behind his back. It bounces off a small trampoline behind him (where the hell did that come from?) and goes flying to the other side of the table, splattering Roger. His team of paramedics scrape him off the chair with a huge spatula and carry him off to surgery again. Foiled, Albel sits down to eat breakfast, thinking up his next assassination attempt.

"Ahem," Nel clears her throat to get their attention, "We got a letter. It's our first immunity challenge; whoever wins can't be voted out of the house."

"What's the challenge?" Mirage asks.

"Cooking," Nel replies.

"What kind of a damn fool idea is that?" Albel asks around a mouthful of food.

"We each cook something," Nel continues, ignoring his interruption, "and the judges choose the best dish based on presentation and taste."

"Sounds like fun!" Sophia shouts, eager to cook.

"The challenge starts at noon," Nel continues, "oh, and I almost forgot; what you cook is your lunch." The guys grimace, their stomachs turning at the mere thought of eating their own cooking.

After lunch, they are each issued a cookbook and allowed the rest of the morning to study it for their challenge. They each disappear into their rooms (except Fayt, who shuts himself in his favorite closet where he has also been sleeping since burning his room) and start reading.

Albel looks frantic as he flips through the cookbook, trying desperately to find something simple enough for even him to cook. "That's it!" he yells, stopping at one page, "Stew! No one can ruin a stew! But...," he trails off, "something so plain wouldn't be enough to win. Or would it..." A truly malicious grin spreads across his face as he thinks of all the ways he could sabotage everyone else's cooking. He starts looking through the cookbook again, only this time, for things that would ruin food.

At noon, everyone meets in the kitchen in front of ten cooking areas, each with its own stove, oven, sink, and counter. They take their positions and, upon receiving the signal, begin cooking.

Sophia has chosen a low-fat dish based on tofu. She carefully measures out the ingredients, using only 'low-fat' and 'low-sodium' selections. She turns for a moment to rummage through the cabinets for more ingredients and Maria dumps a large quantity of sugar into Sophia's dish. Sophia turns back and adds a little ground ginger and then resumes rummaging through the cabinets. This time, Maria dumps a large tub of animal fat into her romantic rival's food, snickering quietly to herself. Sophia, all unaware, continues to cook.

Maria's plan worked like a charm; dumping all that fattening stuff into Sophia's food would make her as big as a house. "Let's see her get Fayt now," she whispers under her breath, snickering again. She is cooking an elaborate meal of roast duck, hoping to impress Fayt with her amazing culinary skills. She turns to find an onion and Sophia takes this opportunity to coat Maria's duck with a bottle of jalapeno juice.

Adray is struggling with fried rice. He drops a bottle of soy sauce and bends down to retrieve it, rising back up to find his rice incinerated. Cursing, he storms out of the kitchen.

Peppita waits patiently for her cookies to finish baking and ends up falling asleep. She wakes up when the smell of smoke starts to choke her and frantically checks her cookies; they've been cremated.

Fayt is mixing up a dark batter: brownies. He glances around nervously to make sure that no one is watching and removes a small plastic baggie from his pocket, dumping it's contents into the batter and mixing it in quickly.

Roger has chosen to cook fish (raccoons love fish, right?). He stands on a tall stool, chopping his fish with a large butcher knife. Albel, seeing a painfully obvious opportunity to be mean, yells, "Hey! Rodent fool!" Roger turns his head to shout an insult back, but, not watching what he's doing, cuts off his left hand with one swing of the huge knife. He is carried away from the kitchen by his paramedics.

Mirage is cooking chicken. She turns to find some parsley and Albel adds chili powder to her dish, stifling laughter.

Cliff is trying to deep fry a turkey in beer, but seems to be drinking most of the beer instead, leaving next to nothing for the bird.

Nel is roasting a pheasant and, because she happens to have seen a lot of Albel's sabotage, watching it like a hawk (get it? watching the pheasant like a hawk? you know, hawks eat pheasants! like the hawk watching its prey right! LOL! ahem, cough). Her cooking seems to be going quite well.

Albel is laughing evilly to himself; his plans have worked perfectly. Spoiling Roger's chance of winning was all too easy, Mirage was also easy to sabotage and he had ruined Adray's and Peppita's food with a flamethrower when they weren't paying attention. He had watched Maria and Sophia destroy each others' dishes and knew that there was no way Fayt was going to win with his 'enhanced' brownies or Cliff either for that matter, drinking his ingredients as he was. The only person left for him to worry about is Nel, but she is on to Albel's tricks and guarding her food carefully. "Oh, well," he mutters to himself, "it's just a scrawny bird, probably tough and stringy, nothing to worry about." He has chosen squid as the main ingredient for his stew, as sea food is rare fare in Airyglyph and a personal favorite of his. He tosses the whole squid in absentmindedly and starts looking through the ingredients he has laid out on the counter (in order to avoid the same fate that has befallen several other dishes).

Albel hears something in the pot and turns back to it, staring into the dark broth and wondering if he is losing his marbles. Just as he is about to look away, a tentacle launches up out of the stew, wrapping firmly around his neck. It tries to pull him in, beating his head repeatedly against the rim of the pot. Unsheathing his trusty sword, the Crimson Scourge, he flails wildly, trying desperately to strike the slimy beast attacking him. By now, he is making a huge scene, drawing everyone's attention to his desperate battle against the tiny kraken. Roger, just returned from surgery, manages to once again find himself on the wrong end of Albel's flailing sword and is rushed back into surgery. Having a mean streak of her own, Nel zaps the squid with a blast of electrical runology, frying Albel as well.

Albel cleans up the monstrous mess, finding that nothing of it can be salvaged. Roger returns to laugh at him; a poor choice. He grabs the furry hooligan roughly by the skin on the back of his neck and ties him to a stick. He then proceeds to cook him rotisserie-style over an open flame, adding barbecue sauce and pepper just for the sheer spiteful fun of it and poking him with a fork repeatedly.

Unfortunately, we can't allow anyone to be killed, because someone would sue our asses, so we are forced to make Albel release Roger, who runs to his waiting paramedics. Nel, with the only edible dish, has won the immunity challenge. Albel is now in an extremely foul humor, having awakened bound and gagged and now missing his lunch. We have security guards ready and waiting.

"Hey, Albel," Peppita asks as he walks through the living room, "wanna' play with stuffed animals with me? Roger's still having his burns treated." She holds out a fuzzy stuffed unicorn to him. He takes it in his right hand, looks at it for a moment and then savagely rips its head off with the claws of his gauntlet, dropping the head at Peppita's feet and throwing the body over his shoulder. Peppita, throwing a tantrum, hurls the head at his back, but her aim sucks and she instead hits Roger, who has just returned from treatment; he is impaled by the horn (what the hell! it's a STUFFED ANIMAL for crying out loud! the horn is made of CLOTH!). His paramedics take him away again.

The day goes by somewhat uneventfully, except that all of Albel's attempts to kill Fayt are foiled, and Roger manages to find himself on the wrong end of each and every one, ending up looking something like a furry pin cushion.

As evening descends, a drunken Cliff stumbles into the kitchen, looking for more beer. He finds Albel sticking stamps to a large, wiggling box. "Whatcha' doin' there, Albel?" he asks stupidly.

"Mailing a stupid rodent to Siberia," Albel replies, licking another stamp and pasting it to the side of the box.

"Whhhyyyyyyyy?" Cliff asks.

"It's for...uh...," Albel considers for a moment, "it's for a relative."

"Ooooooohhhh," Cliff says, completely out of it, "but don'ts it needs air holezes or suuumthin'?"

Albel gets a malicious grin on his face, "I suppose you're right, you drunken fool." With that, he unsheathes his sword and stabs it through the top of the box repeatedly. The box gives one final twitch and doesn't move again. Blood runs out around the bottom in a dark red pool.

"Whuz dat red sturff?" Cliff asks, so drunk that he's starting to have a hard time staying on his feet.

"It's...um...," Albel thinks fast, "It's ketchup, yeah, that's right, ketchup."

"Why 'r ya' mailun' ketchup hic?" Cliff asks.

Now thoroughly irritated at the hammered Klausian, Albel says, "Hey, worm, there's beer in the fridge; go get it and leave me the hell alone!"

"Oooohhh, beer," Cliff says, remembering why he came to the kitchen in the first place and staggering over to the fridge.

Albel snickers evilly as he puts the last stamp in place; the cost of postage was outrageous, but it would be well worth it to rid himself of this furry pest. He carries the huge box outside to the mailbox and drops it on the sidewalk. He then returns to the house, a smug look on his face. Unfortunately, we can't allow Albel to mail Roger to Siberia and we retrieve him from the box and take him to his paramedics. What fun would it be around the house without Roger being gored 24-7 anyway?

After a full and frustrating day of attempted murder, Albel decides to go to bed. Everyone else follows shortly after. One more thing happened that evening, however.

Late that night, Albel is sleeping restlessly and rolls over onto his other side. He feels that something is wrong and opens his eyes to find himself face to face with Fayt. He screams in surprise and flies backward against the wall behind him.

"Whazzup, roomie?" asks the obviously stoned Fayt.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM YOU MAGGOT!" the enraged Albel screams.

"Trying to sleep," he answers.

"OBVIOUSLY," Albel yells back, "BUT WHY IN **MY** ROOM!"

"That closet is too small to stay in," Fayt answers, "I can't stay with any of the girls, Cliff won't let me stay with him, Adray is too loud, and I'm afraid that if I stay with Roger, his luck might rub off on me."

After a long, loud argument that wakes everyone else in the house, Albel hacks the bed in half, moving one half against the wall on the other side of the room and ordering Fayt to stay there or face certain death. The rest of the night goes by without incident, except that Roger rolls out of his bed and onto a pile of upturned needles (where the hell is all this stuff coming from!).

Day 6

The subjects of today's scrutiny will be the drunken duo of Cliff and Adray, as they spend so much time drinking together that it would be just plain stupid to give them their own separate days.

They once again race to finish breakfast faster than each other, making total pigs of themselves. They have also started eating their cereal with beer instead of milk. After breakfast, Fayt joins them for a drinking contest and then the three drunken slobs stagger around the house, blabbering incoherent nonsense.

As they are walking through the living room, Adray steps on Roger's tail, then trips and falls on him, giving the little furry brat a concussion and sending Albel into a fit of hysterical laughter. They get an evil idea and while Albel is busy laughing and not paying attention, they 'Irish up' his coffee, running away snickering. They run into the kitchen and spike everything in the fridge with liqueur, from the tea to the orange juice.

Returning to the living room, they find Albel ranting drunkenly about war and gesturing violently with his sword; they laugh and run. In the kitchen, Roger and Peppita are getting tea out of the fridge. Within moments, the two children are drunk off their asses and stumbling around the kitchen wildly.

The drunken stupidity only intensifies as the now plastered Albel ties Roger to a stick and roasts him over a bonfire in the back yard. Laughing, Fayt, Cliff, and Adray join in, roasting marshmallows. Again, we are forced to rescue Roger; good thing he was too drunk to feel the painful burns.

Peppita is trying to play circus with her stuffed animals and, with her now doubled vision, having a hard time getting a hold of them, often grabbing a fist full of air. Sophia, Maria, and Mirage, annoyed by the combined destructive drunken antics of Fayt, Adray, Cliff, and Albel, pin them down and force-feed them raw coffee beans. The girls run just in time to escape the cascade of vomit (aw shit, more cleaning to do). With their stomachs now emptied of all the booze, the men take some aspirin for their hangovers and retire early. Roger, still drunk off his tail, seems to find every sharp, pointy object in the house, keeping his paramedics working around the clock to keep him in one piece.

Day 7

It is now the last day before someone leaves the house; everyone will vote this evening. We have decided to watch Peppita today. We have also introduced the residents of the house to the newly finished 'Diary Room', where they can talk to a video camera privately about their experiences living in the house and about the other residents.

The first to the diary room is Roger. He closes the door and hops up on the chair in front of the camera. "This sucks!" he says, "All that's happened to me since I got here has been nothing but painful! I've been stabbed, sliced, roasted, lacerated, etc. and no one gives me any respect either! I think today, I'll find something safe to hide in, maybe then I won't get hurt. I just can't believe the total lack of respect these morons have for me! I'm a REAL man! And much manlier than that big dummy, Albel!" Just then, a katana pierces the door, stabbing Roger. He is carried out by his paramedics.

A smoldering Albel takes Roger's place in front of the camera and slams the door shut. "I'm tired of this stupid shit!" he yells, "That furry maggot is driving me mad! And no one will let me kill him! And as if things aren't already bad enough, I now have to share a room with a stupid, pot-smoking, blue-haired hippy fool! He's going to burn my room too! I WANT HIM OUT!" He slams his gauntlet through the wall to the side of him in anger. "One of them had better leave tomorrow or I WILL kill someone!" He then flings open the door and stomps out.

Sophia is next and calmly takes her seat in front of the camera, closing the door quietly behind her. "This has been fun!" she says to the camera, "All of us hanging out together and everything. I just wish that Roger wasn't getting hurt so much and that Fayt would stop smoking weed." She sighs, "I love Fayt. I just want what's best for him. And I wish he wasn't so dense! Can't he tell that I like him?" She rolls her eyes, "Men! And another thing," she looks down at her somewhat expanded girth, "I don't know how, but I've been packing on the pounds like crazy the last couple of days, I guess I aughta' get some more exercise." She walks out of the diary room and returns to her room to run on the treadmill some more.

Peppita walks in and plops down in front of the camera, smiling and waving. "Hi everyone!" she says, "Peppita Rossetti, Fairy of Illusions here! Hello, my adoring fans!" She does a bow, "This has been loads of fun! Roger plays stuffed animals with me when he's not in surgery and the guys are fun to watch when they're drunk. I can't wait to get back to my troupe though and practice my act some more. Someday, I'm gonna' be a HUGE star; just you wait and see!" She dances out of the room to go back to her stuffed animals.

Cliff stumbles into the room and sits down in front of the camera. "Hiiiiiiiiyaaaaas!" he drawls, "Lez wrap thisss up quick, 'cause I'd muuuuuuuch rather be drinkin' da booze in da fwidge. This is oooooone of da beeest tings dat's eeeeeeeeever happened to me; hangin' out wit good drinkin' buddies, all da free beer I can drink, and no one's hic found my porn collection yet!" He stops suddenly, "Aw shit! I can't believes me saids dat out loud! Gimme dat tape!" He starts trying to dismantle the camera, but we send in security guards to remove him.

Next up is Nel. She takes her seat in front of the camera and looks around nervously. Facing the camera, she says, "I can't stay long, must return to my lair. I've been spying on everyone lately to practice using this new technology; it'll be great to have around when I return to Aquaria. Gotta' go!" She removes the grate on the vent above her and escapes into the air ducts; already quite well acquainted with the ventilation shafts, she easily finds her way back to the basement.

We let the next person in line, Fayt, into the room now. He sits down, lights a joint, and takes a long drag before speaking, "This place rocks! There are SO many places to hide pot around this house! It just sucks that my room burnt up." Another drag, "And what's with Al? That guy is such a square! It's hard to sleep at night with him glaring daggers at me from across the room, throwing 'em sometimes too!" He takes a few more drags of his joint, "I just wish eeeverybody could just...like...ya' know...get alooooong! Aaaaaaanywhoooo," yet another long drag, "I gotta' scram; so much pot, sooooooo little time!" He saunters out of the room, tossing his joint down behind him. Unfortunately, the discarded joint ignites the carpet on the floor and the Diary Room is destroyed by the fire.

Mirage was too busy with her martial arts training to speak to the camera anyway and Adray is passed out on the front lawn. Maria is outside in the back yard, trying to learn to shoot behind her back. Roger runs outside to play ball and gets caught in the fire; he is carried away by his paramedics again.

After having his bullet wound tended too, Roger gets an idea. He grabs one of Peppita's large teddy bears and carries it off into the shadows, where he disembowels it and hops in, sealing the incision from the inside. How could he POSSIBLY get hurt inside a big stuffed bear after all? He waddles into the living room, back to where he found the bear, and plops down on the floor, eager for a painless day of peace and relaxation (but we know better don't we? evil grin)

Peppita walks into the room and starts playing with the smaller stuffed animals, making them jump through plastic hoops and balance on tight wires. Enter Albel. He is still furious about this morning and plops down angrily on the couch, grabbing the remote control and flipping the channel to the most violent, gory movie he can find. Suddenly, he hears a sneeze across the room. He turns his head quickly, looking for the source of the noise, but all he sees over there is Peppita's large stuffed teddy bear. He notices that the bear looks somewhat deflated and goes over to inspect it. He looks it up and down, then kicks it. "Ow!" the bear exclaims, then goes silent. Albel grins maliciously.

"Hey, Peppita," he calls, his grin turning to that of feigned innocence (Albel, innocent? Ha! that's a good one!), "mind if I play with your stuffed animals too?"

"Yes, I mind!" she snaps, "You'll just tear them up like you did the other day!"

"No I won't," he lies, "I was just in a bad mood that day, but I feel much better now and I'd like to make it up to you."

"Yay!" Peppita cheers happily. She gestures for him to pick an animal to play with and he chooses (you guessed it) the large bear.

"I'd like to teach you a new game, Peppita," he says, eyeing up the bear evilly.

"A new game?" she asks excitedly.

"Yes, a new game," he continues, "it's called 'Death to the Bear'." He feels the bear in his hand start to tremble and his grin broadens.

"How do ya' play?" Peppita asks, very interested in the new game.

"We take turns thinking up ways to kill the bear," he points with one claw of his gauntlet to the bear he's holding, "the person who destroys it most thoroughly wins."

"But I like that bear!" Peppita cries.

"Oh, but this game will be great fun," he tells her, "well worth the sacrifice of one bear."

"Ok," she agrees, "but I better have lots of fun or you owe me a new bear!"

"Oh we shall," he sneers at the bear, "we shall have MUCH fun." He laughs an evil laugh and leads Peppita outside, carrying the bear by the scruff of its neck.

"Since it's your bear," he tells Peppita, "you get the first turn."

"Yay!" she yells excitedly, "Put it down there!" She points to a spot in the yard and Albel drops the bear there. Peppita then runs to the storage shed and grabs a huge mallet. She runs back to the bear and, getting a spinning start, smashes it in the face with the mallet. The bear makes a sickening cracking sound as it falls over. "Yay!" she yells, "This IS fun!"

"And it only get's better," Albel tells her, "it's my turn now." He picks it up by a leg, spins it around over his head and throws it against a small tree, breaking the tree in half with the force of the impact.

"Wow!" Peppita laughs, "That was AWESOME!" Peppita goes off screen and returns riding an elephant (where the blazes did THAT come from!). She rides it over the bear, trampling it into the ground. Albel is rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically.

He picks himself up off the ground and disappears off screen. We hear the sound of a loud engine starting up and he drives back on screen in a huge monster truck (where the hell are they getting all this stuff! and when did he learn to drive!), which he then proceeds to drive over the bear. He backs over it and then drives forward again, repeating this several times and then burning off on it. Peppita can barely breathe.

Peppita wraps a red blanket around the bear and then disappears off screen again. Suddenly, a bull charges forward at the bear, stomping it and goring it with its horns. Peppita reappears, laughing hysterically.

Albel carries the bear to the nearby train tracks and ties it to the track; he disappears off screen once more and then we hear a train whistle and the sound of an oncoming train. Sure enough, here comes Albel driving a 150 car train. He drives over the bear.

Peppita scrapes the flattened bear off the tracks and then drives a steam roller over it. (we have GOT to find out where they are getting all these things!)

"And now for the big finale," Albel says, picking up the bear, which is now flat as paper and dripping blood. Peppita follows him as he carries the bear to the nearby wood chipper. Laughing maniacally, he throws the bear into the wood chipper and laughs even harder as the loud machine spits out bloody chunks of fabric and Menodix. Still laughing, Albel and Peppita return to the house as, behind them, Roger's paramedic crew picks up the pieces and starts sewing him back together.

Later, at lunch, everyone is busy eating when Roger walks in, looking like a patchwork quilt. "Aaahhh!" the stoned Fayt screams, "it's Frankenstein's Monster!" He grabs a golf club and starts beating Roger with it. Sophia and Mirage rush to Roger's aid, holding back Fayt long enough for the little dweeb to escape.

"What happened to you, Roger!" Peppita yells, worriedly.

"You and Albel, that's what!" he yells back.

Albel is laughing maniacally on the other side of the table, all but falling out of his chair.

Only then does Peppita realize why Albel wanted to play with her stuffed animals. "ALBEL!" she screams, taking a flying leap over the table and tackling him. Too busy laughing, he is easily caught and Peppita grabs his hair, wrapping the two long ponytails around his neck and throttling him with them.

Albel somehow manages to escape, mowing Roger down in the process, and spends the rest of the day running from the enraged Peppita.

RESULTS: Adray has been voted out. (He's not that funny anyway.)

This was my first ever fanfic, so please don't judge it too harshley! I plan to continue the series with another 8 chapters. Loved it? Hated it? Comment please so I know what I'm doing right or wrong. Thank you for your time!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi again, everyone! Ok, I got some good reviews, so I couldn't wait anymore: I'm releasing the next 5 chapters ahead of schedule! I already have them and most of week 7 done and was planning on releasing them on a weekly basis so I'd have more time to finish, but I just can't wait anymore. So, here they are! Prepare for more insanity, more carnage, and more psychotic antics!

**Star Ocean: Till the End of Time**

**Big Brother**

Week 2 Day 1

The votes have been counted and it is Adray who must leave. He has thirty minutes to pack his bags and get his sorry, wasted ass out of this house. Being the drunken slob he is, he's not able to get his things together and leave in time so, being the super mean, heartless bitches that we are, we release the hounds.

A pack of half-starved rottweilers comes tearing around the corner, led by Albel, who, with his personality and the iron collar-like thing around his neck, fits in perfectly. Adray sees them coming, screams, and runs down the stairs, tripping halfway down and rolling to the floor. He gets up and runs out the door, with Albel and the rottweilers in hot pursuit. They disappear down the street.

The Glyphian and the dogs return about an hour later; some of the dogs have pieces of cloth in their mouths. We throw steaks to the dogs to reward them for their services, though while we weren't looking, Roger climbed into the box of steaks. He is thrown clinging to a steak and is immediately shredded by the vicious dogs, who have a great time throwing him around like a rag doll until his paramedics don padded suits and come to his aid, carrying him away covered in blood and dog drool.

Unfortunately, running with the hounds has had an adverse effect on the good general, who is now fighting the dogs over steaks, growling and salivating like the furry beasts. One of the rottweilers gets too close to his 'prey', and he launches at it; the dog runs away whimpering, its tail between its legs and its ears flattened against its skull in submission. We send in security guards to retrieve the psychotic Albel, but he bites them and they flee like little pansies from the homicidal maniac, who is now foaming at the mouth and barking. Luckily, we have tranquilizer guns on hand. The remaining security guards fire several darts into Albel's backside. He starts running around on all fours in circles, looking for something to kill and barking until the drugs start to take effect. He starts to wobble and stagger, then falls over on his side and goes to sleep. The security guards drag the drugged wacko away. We'll have him wearing a straitjacket in a padded room the rest of the day for observation purposes. We will also be supplying him with a steady flow of meds.

The spectacle over, the other residents go on about their business. Cliff is very upset, having lost his favorite drinking buddy.

"Maaaan," Cliff drawls drunkenly, "why'd Adray haav ta' go? He wuz my beeessst pal!"

"Like what am I, dude?" the stoned Fayt asks, "Am I like...ya' know...chopped liver er sumthin'?"

"Aw, shaaaadup!" Cliff yells, throwing the bottle of beer in his hand at Fayt. Drunk as he is, Cliff's aim sucks and he misses Fayt's head by a long shot, hitting Roger and sending him back to surgery with shards of glass stuck in his head.

We've decided to spend what's left of the day following Sophia with our cameras. Perhaps she's more interesting than we give her credit for. Who knows?

Never mind; she's boring as hell! Sophia spends the rest of the morning until lunch on her exercise equipment; running like a hamster. We'll get back to her later.

We turn the cameras to Albel in the padded room. He has just awakened and is looking around in a daze. He tries to get up, but then realizes that he is back in his straitjacket, which is even monogrammed with his initials. He seems agitated; VERY agitated. He starts chewing on the sleeves, trying to free himself, but as he has done that before, his sleeves have been reinforced with a much thicker and more durable layer of fabric. After fifteen minutes of nonstop chewing, he yells his frustration and starts kicking the air. Big, tantrum throwing baby.

It is now time for lunch and Sophia runs down stairs to the table. She sits down in her seat and starts chowing down on her tofu. Cliff and Fayt, drunk off their asses, are sloshing beer around while singing stupid bar songs. As they sing the big finale, they give their mugs one last big swing, sloshing beer around the table.

Fayt's mug slips out of his hand and goes flying at Roger's head, missing him by only inches. "Ha!" Roger laughs, "It missed me!" Just then, it bounces off the wall and comes flying back at him, shattering upon impact with his tiny cranium. He is rushed away by his paramedics for more surgery.

On the other side of the table, Sophia sits stone still, dripping beer. Slowly she raises her head; the murderous look in her eyes is plainly visible. Everyone's gaze shifts to her, but she sees only the source from whence the dousing came: Cliff. She stands slowly and picks up the nearby bottle of soy sauce by its neck, squeezing till her knuckles turn white. She slams it down on the edge of the table, breaking off the bottom. She then launches across the table, broken bottle in hand, murder in eyes. Cliff turns and tries to run, but trips over a chair, falling flat on his drunken face. She comes down hard on his backside, raising the bottle over her head to strike. Luckily, our security guards are ready for any emergency and rush to Cliff's aid before he can go the way of Roger. They pull Sophia off Cliff, careful to avoid the flailing broken bottle, and carry her back to her room to cool off. We think we may get her a monogrammed straitjacket too...

In her room, Sophia paces like a caged animal. She decides to run on her treadmill to relieve the stress and burn off the calories from her meal (what the hell kind of calories do you get in tofu!). Anyway, she's gone back to being boring, so lets check on the others.

Cliff is cowering in a corner, trembling with fear; this brush with death has left him badly shaken. "Maybe I shood give ups drinkin'," he says, starting to sound just a little more sober. Like hell he'll sober up; he'll be drunk as a skunk again by nightfall.

Fayt is up in his new room (we gave him Adray's old one in order to avoid a fatality), sitting in a new beanbag chair, getting high as a kite. He takes drag after drag of weed, enjoying every minute of it and jabbering retarded'peace and harmony'crap (good thing Albel is locked away right now).

Nel is down in the basement keeping an eye on the monitor showing Albel's padded room, as we have requested that she help us monitor him. She reaches into a bag of chips and pulls out a fist full, her eyes never leaving the monitor as she eats.

Albel is alternately pacing in circles and banging his head on the walls, screaming in fury. He should be fine by next morning, but under surveillance indefinitely. We will be spiking his food with a special mixture of meds from now on as well, just to keep him from getting too out of hand.

Roger and Peppita are playing with her stuffed animals in the living room again. They seem to be enjoying themselves. Roger throws a stuffed seel at Peppita playfully and she throws a tiger at him. The stuffed animal fight goes on innocently for several minutes until Peppita throws a little stuffed dragon at Roger; it collides with his face and just hangs there. Blood starts to run down Roger's front and he falls over backward. His paramedics rush to his side to find that there was a knife in the dragon (hmm, I wonder how THAT got there). They rush the little Menodix to surgery as our security guards try to confirm the origin of the knife (hello! is there anyone here who can't figure out where it came from! if so, they need to get their fucking head checked by a bloody professional IMMEDIATELY! then sign up for BRAIN SURGERY!). The guards quickly point out the obvious; it's a Glyphian knife with Albel's prints all over it (no shit, Sherlocks). This was obviously yet another 'Roger Trap' by our resident 'Master of Disaster'. We should punish him, we should, but frankly, we find it hilarious.

Mirage is watching tv in her room. She flips the channel and finds an anime expo. She seems very interested in what she sees, considering she's quite the avid anime fan. Some people walk by dressed as their favorite anime characters; cosplay. Mirage is even more interested now. Uh-oh.

Maria is out in the yard again, shooting at targets and trying to learn some new gun tricks. She sees something dart past quickly and fires at it, thinking it nothing more than a large squirrel. It was Roger. Time to have a bullet removed from his brain.

Dare we check to see what Sophia is doing? We turn the cameras back to her room. Our camera is covered, so we switch to Nel's hidden one to find the shades of Sophia's windows drawn tightly closed. She is sitting on the edge of her bed with her back turned to the camera. The sound of something crunching can be heard loudly as her arm moves up and down swiftly between her mouth and something in her lap. She suddenly throws aside an empty box of cookies, reaching under her bed for a huge chocolate bar! Looks like someone's diet is a sham...

Dinnertime approaches quickly and before long, everyone is at the table again. Cliff is, as predicted, plastered again, Fayt is high, Roger is wrapped in bandages like a mummy, and Mirage is dressed as Aya from "Ceres: Celestial Legend". The others are more or less their usual selves. Sophia once again eats tofu; the scam continues. It's dinner as usual, including an injury for Roger in the form of a steak knife in his foot (how does he DO that!)

Everyone goes to sleep and nothing too unexpected happens. Sophia is up late, snacking from her private stash and a spring in Roger's mattress pops out, stabbing him in the back.

Day 2

It's breakfast time and we've released Albel, as he showed about as much improvement as we could ever expect of him. We have ,however spiked his breakfast with some very strong happy pills and shall wait to see the effects, which we assume will be quite entertaining. Today, the cameras will follow Nel's day.

They all sit at the table, shoveling their breakfasts into their mouths at blistering speed. Roger starts to choke on his, turning purple and requiring a quick heimlich; unfortunately, the paramedic squeezes him too hard, squeezing his stomach out onto the table in front of him. Needless to say, everyone has lost their appetites, except Albel, who is desensitized to all gore and violence. He just laughs and continues to eat, for which we are glad; we wouldn't want him to miss his first dose of medicine. The paramedics carry Roger away for restuffing.

Nel, once back in her room, sits in front of the stacks of monitors from which she can view the entire house and the goings on therein. She looks to her Cliff monitor and sees him chugging beer by the case. Looking at the Fayt monitor, she watches him snort large quantities of white powder through a straw (geez, I wonder what THAT is). Through her Mirage monitor, she sees Mirage going through her wardrobe, altering her outfits to look like those of the anime characters on her posters. She glances at the Sophia monitor and catches Sophia in the middle of yet another chocolate binge. On the Maria monitor, she watches as Maria injects melted lard into tofu blocks, laughing maniacally as she does so. The Albel monitor shows him darting back and forth between his many weapons, like a humming bird with murderous intentions. She glances at the Roger monitor, but quickly averts her gaze, as his paramedics are still working to put his stomach back in. On the Peppita monitor, she sees the little Velbaysian practicing some kind of circus routine with her stuffed animals.

Nel reaches into the bag of potato chips she's been eating from and finds it empty. It is time once again for a brief foray to the surface world. Nel pulls her chair beneath the vent in the ceiling and stands on it to remove the grating. She climbs up into the vent and travels up through the air ducts, crawling stealthily so as not to make a sound. She finds herself above the kitchen and removes the grating from the vent, jumping down through the open hole in the ceiling and falling silently as a cat to the kitchen floor. She quickly runs to the fridge, opening it as quietly as possible and grabbing an armload of snacks, then she goes to the pantry and does the same. Her mission completed, she jumps back into the vent, pulling the grating back into place and crawling back to her room.

Back in her chair in front of the monitors, she resumes eating her snacks and viewing her house mates. Slowly, she drifts off to sleep, still sitting up in her chair with her feet propped up on her desk and a bag of chips in her lap.

Meanwhile, the drugs from breakfast are starting to take effect on Albel. We got some super powered, fast working, experimental pills for him; promised to work within hours instead of weeks. He's not playing with his weapons anymore, but looking silently out the window with a strange expression on his face. Slowly he turns and leaves the room, walking downstairs to where the two children are now playing with Peppita's stuffed animals again. He plops down on the floor next to them, surprising and scaring them. He grabs a stuffed horse and starts to play with it, making it run along the floor. Roger and Peppita exchange confused glances, look at him again, shrug, and start to play. The three of them appear to be having a lot of fun.

It's not long before the children have the drugged Albel outside playing with little fluffy kittens and bunnies. They run around the yard playing tag, rolling in the flowers, and petting and cuddling the fuzzy little animals. Nel, who has awakened again, is watching the outside monitor in pure shock as Albel starts singing "I Feel Pretty", dancing in the flowers with little kitties prancing around his feet. Quite frankly: we are disturbed, VERY disturbed.

"Wow," Peppita says, obviously amazed at Albel's drug induced change of heart, "what happened to you? You're so nice now. And you haven't even tried to hurt Roger once!"

"I don't know," he answers, a slight smile on his face. He pats Roger on the head, "I just feel so happy suddenly."

"I like the new you much better!" Roger exclaims. The three of them laugh and walk back inside.

Nel sits in front of her monitors in stunned silence, her jaw practically down to her feet. To see Albel the Wicked behaving in this manner has deeply disturbed us all. She continues to follow him on the monitors.

Albel, Roger, and Peppita go up to Fayt's room to visit. They sit down with him and Albel even starts to sound like him, talking about peace, friendship, and every other un-Albellike topic in the book. The three visitors soon become high off the abundant fumes in the room and start acting really stupid. Fayt joins them as they wander downstairs for lunch.

Everyone is soon at the table and gawking at Albel, who is being exceedingly nice. He makes polite small talk, passes things around the table when asked, and even assists Roger when he gets a spoon lodged in his tail (!). Albel takes his second dose of happy pills, which is dissolved in his bowl of soup. We are, however, starting to question what this will do to our ratings.

The rest of the day goes on in the same manner; Albel playing with Roger and Peppita, Nel watching in stunned silence. Checking our ratings, we see that our wonderful viewers like this change in Albel...about as much as we do. Many have stopped watching, as the kinder, gentler Albel isn't half as funny as the old psychotic one. In order to save our sorry butts, we've decided to cut off Albel's supply of meds. And, to make it up to our beloved viewers, we're going to let him go cold turkey! Lets watch!

The hours wear on and dinnertime comes and goes unspiked. It's getting late and Albel is not looking well. It seems he is starting to go into withdrawal. He is beginning to sweat, and looks like he may hurl at any moment. Roger offers him a cookie and, upon sight of food, Albel barfs all over the little Menodix. Blinded by vomit, Roger runs into another glass cabinet and cuts himself to shreds. A clean and stitch operation for him!

Albel, shivering in a corner of the living room, is slowly starting to come to his senses; the gleam of evil returning to his eyes. Fayt walks over to him and tries to help him up, but Albel scratches at him with the talons of his gauntlet, hissing like an angry ally cat.

Roger returns to check on his 'friend', walking up to him and asking what's wrong. Albel raises his gauntlet over his head and brings it down on Roger, cutting him into six pieces. The paramedics carry the Roger ribbons away to be reassembled. Now far too dangerous to approach, we must tranquilize the Glyphian again and have our security guards carry him off to his room to sleep off the effects of the abrupt loss of his medication. Let us pray that he never finds out that we medicated him.

The night ends more or less in the normal fashion; Roger being sewn back together and bandaged like a mummy (I suppose we could consider the bandages his pajamas or something), Nel making trips to the kitchen and bathroom through the air ducts, Sophia going on a chocolate binge, Cliff passed out on the floor of his room, Mirage dreaming up which anime character to dress up as next, Maria injecting lard into every rice cake and piece of tofu in the house, Peppita sleeping under a pile of stuffed animals, and Fayt smoking one last joint before going to bed. The only difference tonight, is Albel shivering feverishly under the effects of the withdrawal from his happy pills. Perhaps it was mean of us to let him go cold turkey, but boy was it funny!

Day 3

Everyone rushes downstairs for breakfast, except Albel, who is still suffering somewhat from withdrawal symptoms; he eats only a plain piece of toast this morning. The others wolf down everything on their plates, going back for seconds and even thirds in some cases. Today, we will follow the only member of the cast we haven't already watched: Mirage. This morning, she has chosen to dress as Yui from "Fushigi Yugi".

So what does Mirage do all day? She starts by burning off the calories from breakfast with a little martial arts practice, beating the crap out of the punching bag in her room. After an hour of whaling on the punching bag, she sits down for an hour of anime and a half hour of video games after that. She wanders aimlessly downstairs, finds Maria, and the two of them sit on the couch to talk for a while.

After a lengthy conversation, it's time for lunch and they go to the dining room. They walk in to find Albel, who is looking a little better than he was this morning, holding Roger by the tail and shaking him up and down. He then proceeds to beat the bratty little Menodix against the nearby wall repeatedly, and then throw him through the window. Roger's paramedics quickly rush out onto the lawn to retrieve him as Albel takes his seat at the table and resumes eating his soup. Everyone is staring at Mirage again, as they find her outfit a bit odd.

After lunch, Mirage returns to her room to alter more outfits for the next days' cosplay. She decides to dress as Kagome from "Inuyasha", Noriko from "From Far Away", Nuriko from "Fushigi Yugi", and Twilight Suzuka from "Outlaw Star" for the rest of the week. She sits in her room, snipping and sewing for most of the afternoon. Lets find something more interesting to watch.

Fayt, playing a prank, has gone to Albel's room to get high. He has locked the door and now sits in the middle of the room, smoking several joints at once in an effort to fill the room with fumes quickly. He laughs stupidly as he does this, enjoying the thought of Albel walking into a room full of weed smoke and getting high. He continues to smoke for a very long time.

Roger hears the doorbell wring and answers it; outside is a delivery man with a large, heavy box for him. He signs for it and drags it inside quickly. He starts tearing through the cardboard, but slices one of his fingers off on the edge of a piece of tape (what the hell!). after having it stitched back into place, he dons protective leather work gloves to finish tearing into the box.

Several paper cuts to major arteries and a slipped disk later, Roger has opened the box to find a Menodix-size suit of steel plate armor. He doesn't know who this wonderful gift is from, but appears to greatly appreciate it. He puts it on and runs outside, reveling in the freedom that this wonderful armor gives him from harm. He is very, very happy. Little does he know, that nearby lurks a sinister figure with malicious intentions.

Albel, who has now fully recovered, is back to his old self and trying to make up for lost time. He stands on the roof beside a large box, watching the little Menodix prance happily on the lawn. A wicked smile spreads across his face. He reaches for the box, grabbing it by the edges and upends it over the edge of the roof, laughing maniacally as he does so. From the box flows forth a multitude of various weapons, which are drawn to the magnetized suit of armor he sent to Roger. The little brat turns just in time to see the weapons coming before they hit, piercing through the armor and sticking into him until he looks like a porcupine. As the paramedics carry the brat away, Albel laughs hysterically, falling and rolling around on the roof. Unfortunately, he laughs so hard that he doesn't realize how close he is getting to the edge of the roof and falls off, crashing into the rose bushes below. That's gonna' leave a mark.

After having his sprained right arm put in a sling and his wounds from the rose bushes bandaged, Albel goes back to his room in a very foul mood. He is too mad to notice all the smoke and flops down on the bed, determined to try to sleep off his embarrassment. Only then does he smell the smoke. His eyes snap open and he looks up at the smoke enshrouded ceiling. "MAGGOT!" he yells, jumping to his feet and rushing to the door. He can't get out however, as the claws of his gauntlet are too smooth to hold onto the doorknob, and his right arm is out of commission. He is forced to stay in the room, breathing in the weed-laden air.

A couple of hours later, Fayt opens the door to Albel's room to find him thoroughly stoned, sitting on the floor and watching the fan blades turn with an absolutely stupid look of wide-eyed wonder on his face. Fayt laughs as Albel walks out of the now open door and wanders down the stairs, looking something like a zombie.

Mirage has returned to the living room and is watching tv when Albel comes down the stairs and walks into the kitchen. She notices the odd look on his face and follows him. In the kitchen, she finds him chowing down on every snack he can find in an effort to relieve a monstrous case of the munchies. He then finds a particularly hilarious eggbeater and starts arguing with a mop about war tactics. Mirage easily figures out what's wrong with him and rolls her eyes. "Fayt", she calls, knowing that the blue-haired pot-head can't be far away. He pops out from around a corner, stifling laughter as he watches Albel scream at the mop and then swat it with his gauntlet, calling it a 'mangy looking fool'. "What did you do?" she asks Fayt.

"Smoked in his room and left him in there for a couple of hours," he laughs, "funny isn't it?"

Mirage shakes her head as Albel walks outside and starts arguing with the mailbox. He smacks it and moves on to a small tree. He seems to be getting along well with the tree for some strange reason and hugs it. Fayt is rolling around on the floor laughing and even Mirage starts to chuckle. In Nel's room, she is watching all of this on her monitors and is laughing as well.

At dinner, everyone is scarfing down their food as fast as they can. Nel rushes back to the basement, Sophia runs up and down the stairs to work off the extra pounds she keeps mysteriously gaining, Roger has the butter knife removed from his left eye, Peppita grabs her stuffed animals to play with, Cliff gets a six-pack out of the fridge to take to his room, Mirage goes back to her room to play video games, Fayt lights up and saunters out of the dining room, Maria grabs up all the health food she can find and carries it off to her room for contamination, and Albel wanders off to find a fence post to argue with.

"You stupid fool!" Albel screams at the fence post, "Of coarse I'm right!" Silence from the post. "That's right!" he yells at it, "I called you a stupid fool! What are you gonna' do about it!" He ducks as if dodging a punch and then comes back up with a powerful swing from his gauntlet, shattering the post. Roger just happens to be walking along a little ways behind the post and is caught in the rain of nails and splintered wood. His paramedics take him away.

The night drags on and everyone goes to bed with the only interesting things happening being that Albel decided to argue with a mace in his room and Roger's new bed with an adjustable mattress squished him.

Day 4

The day begins in the usual manner, everyone making pigs of themselves and scurrying off to start their daily routines. Mirage is dressed as Kagome today, even down to the bow and arrows and a fake sacred jewel, Roger is having his fork removed from the back of his throat, Cliff is getting drunk already, Maria is practicing with her gun outside and accidentally fires through a window, shooting Roger in the back, Peppita is dancing from room to room, Albel is thinking up something devious, Fayt is smoking pot in his bedroom, Sophia is exercising, and Nel is watching it all on the monitors in her room.

Once Roger has had his wounds treated, he finds Peppita and starts whispering in her ear. She listens intently, then laughs hysterically and whispers something back to him. The two children continue to whisper back and forth, laughing occasionally, and then disappear into the shadows to collect some supplies.

Albel sits on the couch in the living room watching a violent movie on tv and sipping his morning cup of coffee. Peppita sneaks stealthily around the couch, crawling on the floor until she gets to the coffee table. Once in position, she drops several small pills into Albel's coffee mug, which he had set back on the coffee table, and slinks away to the waiting Roger. The two of them watch and stifle laughter as their target continues to drink his drugged coffee.

The two children follow him around for about another half hour, watching as he gets drowsier and drowsier from the sleeping pills. Suddenly, he collapses in the middle of the hallway, snoring loudly. They grab his ankles and drag him into Peppita's room.

"This is gonna' be great!" Roger exclaims, laughing hysterically. Peppita just laughs and the two children continue their devious scheme. When they finish, they drag the drugged bully back to his room and shut the door, running down the hall laughing.

The day wears on in usual fashion; many injuries for Roger, a lot of pot for Fayt, Cliff passing out on the lawn, etc. Finally, around sundown, the effects of the sleeping pills wear off and Albel wakes up. Unsure of how he got back to his room, he wanders out into the hallway and down the stairs to the dining room for dinner. He walks in and sits down in his usual place and starts to eat. He gets a weird feeling and looks up to find everyone staring at him in shock. "What's the matter, fools?" he asks. He notices Roger and Peppita laughing and throws a knife at the Menodix.

Everyone seems to be stifling laughter, except for Cliff, who starts laughing hysterically. "What are you laughing at, you drunken worm!" Albel yells. Cliff continues to laugh and falls out of his chair, making everyone else laugh out loud. "What's so damn funny, you bunch of worthless maggots!" Albel screams at the top of his lungs.

"Nice...outfit!" Cliff manages to say between laughs, "It...really...brings out your...eyes!"

"What are you babbling about, you maggot!" Albel yells at him.

"Go look in...a mirror!" Sophia laughs.

Albel gets up in a huff and stomps off to the nearby bathroom to find a mirror. Moments later, a loud scream is heard and he comes running back out in fury. He has just discovered that he is the victim of an extreme makeover: geisha style. He is wearing a kimono, his hair is tied up in elaborate Japanese fashion, and his face is covered with makeup. He is screaming at an inaudible pitch and flailing around furiously. "YOU!" he screams at Roger and Peppita, realizing who has done this to him. The rest of the day consists of Albel chasing the two children around the house, Roger finding every sharp, pointed object in the house, and Cliff making all kinds of drag queen jokes about Albel.

Day 5

The next morning, Albel is bound and determined to get revenge. After breakfast, he sneaks into Peppita's room and rips the heads off all of her stuffed animals, laughing maniacally as he does so. Now it's Roger's turn, and everyone's favorite psycho has something very special in mind for the little dweeb.

Roger goes out to get the mail this morning and, after cutting himslef on several very sharp blades of grass on the way, reaches the mailbox and finds a letter in it for him. He opens it and reads that it is from a huge fan of his. There is an address where the fan says they want to meet him and give him a present. Excitedly, he gets on his bike and rides that way.

Several quite serious bike accidents later, a bruised and bloodied Roger reaches an abandoned warehouse. He is skeptical, but the thought of a present from a fan motivates him to enter. He opens the door and walks in cautiously. "Hello?" he calls, "Is anyone in here?" Just then, he is clubbed over the head from behind. He falls to the floor unconscious and a tall, sinister figure steps out from the shadows, a malevolent gleam in his red eyes.

Roger slowly starts to regain consciousness and finds himslef tied to the blades of an industrial-size fan in the warehouse. The floor is covered with broken glass and he discovers that his shoes are missing. "What's going on!" he yells, looking around for the perpetrator, "Who did this!" He hears sinister laughter and looks to the side in time to see a figure emerge from the shadows. "Albel!" he screams in fear, "What are you doing!"

Albel looks up at his hapless prey, chuckling evilly, "Why, I believe it is called 'revenge'."

"Revenge for what!" Roger asks him.

"FOR WHAT!" screams Albel, "FOR MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL YESTERDAY, YOU FURRY MAGGOT, THAT'S WHAT!" With that, Albel flips a nearby switch. Slowly the fan blades start to turn, gradually picking up speed until the fan is going full blast, spinning the helpless little Menodix relentlessly. Albel looks down at his watch and decides that Roger has had enough, flipping the switch back into the 'off' position. The fan starts to lose speed and then to stop. He goes behind it and unties his victim, who staggers off dizzily into Albel's obstacle coarse of horror. The dizzy Roger walks over broken glass, upturned nails, and small metal spikes. Albel turns the fan back on and walks behind it again, this time carrying a large, burlap sack. He tosses the sack into the fan, which shreds it, flinging the knives it contained toward the staggering Menodix. He is run through by about a hundred knives and falls forward onto the sharp, pointy thing infested floor. His paramedics run in to the rescue and Albel laughs maniacally as they carry the little brat away for more surgery. He's not laughing long when he returns to the house however. Peppita attacks him the moment he walks in the door, screaming and biting.

At lunch, Maria makes an announcement. "We've received our second immunity challenge," she tells them.

"What kind of idiocy do those fools demand of us now," Albel asks, still shoveling food into his mouth.

"This one was inspired by Mirage's recent discovery of cosplay and yesterday's shenanigans," she continues, "we each choose a different member of the cast to dress as tomorrow. The person who most resembles their chosen cast member wins immunity. "

"That doesn't sound too hard," Sophia says, trying to think of who she should dress as.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," Maria continues, "it has to be someone of the opposite sex." Around the table, everyone spits out their drinks and starts making a fuss.

After screaming their fury for the next two hours, everyone makes their way to their rooms to try to come up with their costumes. They work late into the night, the hope for immunity driving them to work hard.

Day 6

Everyone wanders down to breakfast grumpily, furious about having to dress as a cast member of the opposite sex. Peppita has dressed as Roger, who in turn dressed as her. Cliff and Mirage have dressed as each other, not a very difficult switch. Sophia has dressed as Fayt, even going so far as to have a fake joint in her mouth, and Fayt has dressed as her. Maria has dressed as Adray, but with a vest. And, last but not least, Nel and Albel have dressed as each other. They sit around the table, trying to look and act like the people they're dressed as.

Peppita as Roger pretends to fall out of her chair and severely injure herself. Roger as Peppita has brought a stuffed animal to the table, not realizing that it is actually a real stray cat, which attacks him. Mirage as Cliff pretends to be drunk, slurring her words and acting stupid. Cliff as Mirage tries to act calm and collected, but can't resist the calling of the beer in the fridge and is soon plastered again. Sophia as Fayt acts like she is smoking the fake joint and talks funny, as if she is really high. Fayt as Sophia painstakingly slices a minuscule helping of tofu into tiny little bites and makes a show of using proper manners. Maria as Adray pretends to be drunk, singing stupid bar songs and making a huge mess. Albel as Nel looks around nervously as he eats rapidly, then, finished with his breakfast, tries to escape into the air ducts, but is too large and gets stuck; we'll wait a little while and then call someone to get him out. Nel as Albel is rude and violent, calling the others 'fools' and 'maggots' and even throwing a knife at Roger. After breakfast, everyone wanders off to try to do what the subject of their costume would usually do.

Roger goes to play with the mound of repaired stuffed animals in the living room, little does he know that during the night, a king cobra snuck into them. He is bitten and must be rushed quickly away by his paramedics to get the antidote.

Peppita runs around and pretends to hurt herself on everything, covering herself with ketchup to look like she's bleeding. She calls people morons and generally behaves like a brat.

Mirage wanders around the house, pretending to drink from an empty beer can and acting drunk. She walks outside onto the lawn and pretends to pass out.

Cliff sits in Mirage's room, drunkenly watching anime and whaling on her punching bag. His vision doubled by booze, he misses the bag and goes crashing through the drywall. He passes out with everything from his waist up sticking out of the side of the house.

Sophia walks around pretending to smoke and giggling like an idiot. She starts talking like a hippy and pretending to hallucinate.

Fayt runs on Sophia's exercise equipment, pretending to be very concerned about his weight. He gets his shoelace caught in the treadmill and nearly gets his foot sucked into the machine though. Frustrated, he decides to have a little smoke.

Maria finds Mirage and together, they act like the drunken slobs they're dressed as. They run around acting stupid and singing bar songs, playing drinking games, and generally making asses of themselves. Sophia joins in their drunken stupidity and together, the three of them continue to make fun of Cliff, Adray, and Fayt.

Nel sits on the couch, watching violent movies and throwing the occasional knife Roger's way. After the movie, she gets up and starts polishing weapons, laughing deviously as she does so. She proceeds to ambush the little Menodix repeatedly throughout the day.

Once free from the vent, Albel sneaks off to the basement to do what Nel does everyday. He sits in her chair, eating snacks and watching the others through the monitors in front of him. He seems to enjoy getting to see everything that happens to Roger throughout the day, though he obviously misses being the source of the injuries.

After a full day of acting like each other, the cast assembles for the results of the contest. We have decided that Albel wins this one, as he was able to stay in character for most of the day. This however, worked to his disadvantage somewhat, because Cliff spent the rest of the day making fun of him for being good at acting like a girl. Albel threw multiple weapons at Cliff, all of which managed to find their way to Roger.

Day 7

The next morning, everyone once again runs downstairs for breakfast. They pig out and hurry to get to their daily routines. Cliff makes another drag queen joke about Albel, who throws his plate at him. The plate flies through the air like a frisbee, does a u-turn, and crashes into the back of Roger's head. More stitches!

After having his head wound tended to, Roger goes to his room to play with his favorite action figures. He upends the box and a note falls out, which he snatches up and reads.

"_Dear Rodent Fool,_

_ In retaliation for your little prank the other day, I have thrown away all of your_ _stupid dolls. Who's laughing now, maggot! Bwah ha ha ha ha!_

_ Your arch-nemesis,_

_ Albel Nox"_

Roger screams and runs around the house to check all the garbage cans. He finds that the trash has already been taken out and runs outside to the trash cans on the curb and starts digging through them. The wind picks up and he falls in, but he is happy because he has found his action figures. Just then, he hears the sound of an engine coming and then the can being lifted. It is upended and he falls into the back of a large garbage truck. He lands in a huge pile of dirty diapers and emerges from the pile covered in, well, you can guess. He screams and quickly jumps out of the pile, right onto a pile of broken bottles. Getting off the broken bottles, he finds a spot of relatively harmless garbage and starts screaming for help, but no one can hear him over the noise of the engine and the truck drives on.

Roger gives up on screaming for help and occupies his time by trying to avoid the garbage falling from other cans on the truck's route. Looking to the side, he sees a lump in the garbage move, making a trail toward him. It stops a few feet away from him and he can see two beady yellow eyes glaring out at him. Suddenly, a huge, rabid possum flies out of the garbage and jumps on him, mauling the little Menodix until he is finally able to kick it over the side of the truck. Good thing the little guy already had his rabies shots, courtesy of Albel.

A few hours later, the truck stops and Roger feels the back of it start to move. He is dumped along with the trash onto a garbage barge, which sets out to sea, carrying the little Menodix with it. Seagulls flock around and start pecking at Roger, who is helpless to stop them. With nothing else to do, he escapes the seagulls by burrowing into the abundant garbage, snagging himself on nails, broken bottles, and sharp pieces of scrap metal.

A few more hours and he is dumped onto a small island landfill in the middle of the ocean. Roger looks around himself and sees nothing but garbage and ocean, then he is once again assailed by seagulls. We'll leave him for now and see what's going on at the house.

Nel is searching her monitors for any sign of Roger, as she wasn't watching when he fell into the garbage can and is clueless as to where he is right now. Sophia is destroying a scale in her room with a sledgehammer after receiving an unfavorable report on her weight. Maria is dipping celery and carrots in bacon grease in her room. Mirage is walking around dressed as Noriko from "From Far Away". Cliff and Fayt are drinking as usual. Peppita is practicing some kind of dance routine for a circus act. Albel is laughing evilly, as he saw Roger fall into the trash can and get picked up by the garbage truck.

The day wears on and soon it is dinner time. Everyone runs to the table and starts eating. "Hey," Peppita asks, "where's Roger?"

"I dunno'," Maria says, "come to think of it, I can't recall seeing him all day."

"Nel?" Mirage asks.

"I lost sight of him early this morning," Nel answers, "I've been trying to track him down, but no luck."

Everyone looks at Albel, who hasn't stopped eating. He looks up at them angrily, "What are you fools looking at? I haven't touched the little maggot all day." He then resumes eating.

The others exchange looks. "Like hell he didn't touch him," Cliff says, in one of his rare, sober moments.

"I believe him," Sophia says, "if he'd done it, he wouldn't deny it; in fact, he'd be proud." Across the table, the eating psycho nods without looking up.

"Then where is Roger!" Peppita asks again, quite worried now. About that time, the kitchen door swings open and in steps Roger, covered in seaweed, dangling a few lobsters, and missing a few shark mouth shaped chunks. "Roger!" everyone but Albel exclaims, rushing over to the little Menodix.

"What happened to you, Roger!" Peppita asks him. Roger doesn't say anything, just points angrily to the still eating Glyphian.

"You said you didn't do anything to him, Albel!" Sophia yells at him, "You lied to us!"

"That's not what I said," he answers, laughing, "I only said that I didn't touch the little maggot." Sophia and Peppita tackle him and start pummeling him.

And they spend the rest of the evening chasing Albel around the house, trying to beat him with anything they can get their hands on. Elsewhere, Roger is having his wounds tended to. After surgery, he is lying in bed, relaxing and trying to recover. He looks out the window at the night sky and feels even more relaxed. Suddenly, he sees something move in the tree outside his window, something with beady yellow eyes. The rabid possum from earlier jumps through his window and lands on the bed, mauling the little Menodix for the second time today. Looks like Roger made a friend!

RESULTS: Mirage has been voted out.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, chapter 3 is up now! I hope y'all enjoy it!

**Star Ocean: Till the End of Time**

**Big Brother**

Week 3, Day 1

It is a sad day in the house, as most of the cast is sorry to see Mirage go, but she just wasn't funny enough for our viewers' tastes. This morning, she is dressed as Aisha from "Outlaw Star". She has gathered her things and left the house in time, waving a last farewell to the rest of the cast.

After breakfast, everyone wanders about the house looking for something to do. Cliff quickly finds a keg and is drunk off his ass before ten. Fayt is very busy restocking his stashes, as he has just made a huge purchase. Maria is altering the labels on the snack foods to look less fattening. Nel is making a quick trip to the kitchen for more snacks, traveling through the air ducts. Sophia is jumping up and down on her new scale, screaming, "149 pounds, my ass!". Roger is hiding in a corner, cowering in fear of the rabid possum. Peppita is hunting the possum with a mallet, as Roger has informed her of this dire threat to his health. Albel is laughing at the cowardly Menodix and searching for the possum as well, as he would like to gain the creature as a valuable ally.

Peppita sneaks around corners and down halls, slinking along the walls as silently as she possibly can. She holds the mallet high over her head, ready to strike anything that moves. She peeks around a corner and quickly makes the turn, watching closely for any movement. She sees something move in the shadows and slams the mallet down on it, "Gotcha!". She hears a shrill, girlish scream and Roger leaps out of the shadows, his tail a bloody, smashed mess. On the other side of the room, Albel is rolling around on the floor, laughing.

After having his tail repaired, Roger goes back downstairs to sit on the couch. He plops down on the couch and the possum leaps out from under the throw pillows and mauls him again. Peppita runs in with the mallet to smack the possum, but it jumps out of the way just in time, and she splatters Roger's brains all over the couch.

After having his brain put back in, Roger goes to the kitchen for a snack. As he walks in, he catches a whiff of fresh fish. He looks around and sees Albel in the doorway, holding a huge fish by the tail. Roger starts to drool, "Whatcha gonna' do with that fish, Albel?"

"It's for you," he answers, "as a sort of apology. I realize that I've been especially mean lately and want to make it up to you."

Roger jumps excitedly onto the fish, gnawing at it with enthusiasm. Albel drops the fish and walks into the dining room to where a huge wooden crate is sitting on the floor. He picks up the crowbar lying next to it and jams it between the edge and the lid. With one massive jerk of the crowbar, the lid flies off. The inside of the box is dark with shadows, but soon, hundreds of pairs of brightly glowing eyes can be seen from within the darkness. The creatures within smell the fish as well and suddenly, every stray cat from the ally behind the Chinese restaurant comes pelting out of the box and into the kitchen. Roger looks up just in time to catch a cat in the face as the hundreds of ally cats jump on him and the fish, engulfing them in a mass of moving fur and claws.

Within seconds, the cats jump off the skeletal remains of their meal and run out the open door, which Albel slams shut behind them. They leave in their wake, one huge fish skeleton, a lot of cat hair, and one shredded Menodix. The paramedics take Roger away for more surgery.

Back in his room, Roger is lying in bed, thinking it the safest place for him, when a rather small paramedic walks in, shutting the door behind him. "Who are you?" Roger asks, "Are you new?" The small paramedic turns and Roger sees that it is really the possum in a tiny paramedic uniform. "Aw, shit!" Roger screams as the little beast attacks him again. In runs Peppita, swinging the mallet over her head and bringing it down on the possum. The possum jumps out of the way, however, and all she hits is Roger's stomach. His paramedics will be repairing his ribs for hours.

After lunch, Roger is putting up some left overs to eat later. He opens the refrigerator door and out flies the possum, right onto his face. His girlish screaming alerts Peppita who runs in, mallet ready. He sees her coming and dodges as she swings the mallet at his head. The mallet strikes the fridge, which promptly falls on the little Menodix. The possum escapes unharmed, of coarse.

The possum is wandering down the upstairs hallway when he smells something enticing. He realizes that the delicious smell is coming from a door ahead of him and picks up speed, trotting down the hall and into the door. In the middle of the floor, he sees a plate piled high with raw steaks and he leaps onto it, gorging himself on the delicious meat. Suddenly, he hears the door slam behind him and turns to see a tall figure standing in front of it. He starts to growl, but the man holds out another steak and the little beast snatches it away greedily and starts gnawing on it. "We have something in common, you and I," the man says, "a hatred for that little fool, Roger." The possum nods, still gnawing his steak. "Let's be friends," the man says, extending his hand. The possum places his paw in it and they shake, the two new allies laughing maniacally.

Later that night, after everyone else has fallen asleep, two figures sneak out an open second story window and creep along the roof until they reach another window. It's Albel and his new best friend, Alphonso C. Possum III, in matching black outfits, looking just like a couple of burglars. Alf, as Albel calls him, quickly cuts a small circle in the glass with his claw and pulls it out. Albel reaches in and unlocks the window, pulling it up enough for the two of them to climb in. Once in Roger's room, the two miscreants sneak up to the bed, where Roger lays, strapped to his mattress so he won't fall out of bed. Stifling their laughter, they place a few fast acting sleeping pills in his mouth and massage his throat to make him swallow. They wait for thirty minutes, watching the time go by on their wristwatches, before grabbing the little Menodix and carrying him outside. They take him back to Albel's room, where there is a huge bowl of papier-mache and some painting supplies. They work fast to cover the little brat, shaping the casing like a mule, and then dry the papier-mache with hair dryers. They then paint him quickly and dry that with the hair dryers. With little time left, they rush outside and hang the Roger pinata from a tree in the backyard and run back inside laughing.

Day 2

In the morning, everyone runs down the stairs for breakfast. "We got another challenge letter this morning," Sophia says.

"This early in the week?" Fayt asks, not quite stoned yet.

"Who are we to question the system, maggot?" Albel asks.

"So what's the challenge?" Cliff asks, having his first drink of the morning.

"It says that there's a pinata hanging in the backyard. We each get a turn to hit it and the person who destroys it most thoroughly wins."

"Hey," Peppita says, "that sounds kinda' familiar. Where have I heard that before?" Albel whistles innocently.

Maria is looking around and doesn't see Roger anywhere. "Where is Roger?" she asks.

"Oh," Peppita says, "There was a note outside his door, it says that he doesn't feel well and that he's just gonna' stay in bed for a while."

"But he'll miss the immunity challenge," Nel says.

"Who cares," Albel says, getting up and walking toward the door, "get up or the rest of you worms will miss it."

They all dash outside and find the donkey pinata hanging from the tree in the backyard. A baseball bat is propped up against the trunk of the tree, and Sophia picks it up. She swings, but doesn't hit quite hard enough. Next, it's Maria's turn; she swings hard, but the pinata remains intact. Peppita gets a spinning start and slams the bat into the pinata, but it just does a few loops over the branch it's hanging from and stays in one piece.

"What the hell is this pinata made of?" Maria asks, eyeing it up. Nel swings and has similar luck. Next, Albel wacks it, sending it in another set of loops, but not quite breaking it open. Fayt swings, but is far too stoned by now to hit and misses by a long shot, the bat slipping from his hand and hitting a rock. It bounces off the rock and hits the pinata (apparently, Roger is a magnet for pain no matter what the circumstances). Last, it is Cliff's turn; he picks up the bat and, focusing hard, swings with all his might. The pinata bursts in half, but instead of the candy Peppita runs to catch, blood and entrails rain down, covering the little Velbaysian girl.

Everyone is freaking out, everyone that is, except Albel, who is rolling around on the ground, laughing so hard that he's crying. Roger's paramedics rush out to the rescue, picking little pieces of Menodix out of the grass and carrying the gory mess away for reconstructive surgery. Back in the house, Albel returns to his room to find Alf sitting on the windowsill, where he watched the whole thing; he is laughing hysterically. They high-five and then Albel rewards his little friend with another steak.

Once the others figure out who is responsible, they spend the rest of the day chasing the madman around the house (unaware that the possum was in on it too). Another full day of mischief for everyone's favorite psycho.

Day 3

After yesterday's pinata incident, everyone is quite upset with Albel. At breakfast, they all stare menacingly at him as he snickers between bites. Roger, of coarse, is the most upset. He is trying to think up a good way to humiliate Albel.

He spends the rest of the morning after breakfast thinking up revenge and, several possum attacks later, comes up with something. He goes to the door to the basement and opens it, walking slowly down the stairs so as not to fall. He falls anyway and crashes into some antique glass bottles, behind which were hiding some scorpions. After being cut up by glass and stung by the scorpions, he walks forward to where rows upon rows of glowing monitors displaying the whole house illuminate the silhouette of a large chair. "Um...Nel?" he calls timidly.

"Come closer," she says, not turning to face him. He steps cautiously toward the chair. "What brings you here, young Menodix?" Nel asks, still not turning.

"Um...," he starts, somewhat frightened, "I...I need your help." Nel turns in her chair; she is stroking a fluffy Persian with one hand, and drumming the fingers of her other hand on an arm of the chair, her face is covered in the deep shadows, but her green eyes glow in the pale light of the basement. "Speak," she says.

Later, Roger calls everyone into the living room. Once everyone is seated, he picks up the remote control and pushes the 'play' button, starting a copy of one of Nel's security tapes. On the tv, everyone watches the tape of Albel's day on happy pills. They laugh hysterically as he dances through the flowers, singing "I Feel Pretty" with little kittens prancing around his feet.

On one end of the couch, Albel has invented a new color; his face is somewhere between red and purple. "YOU MAGGOT!" he screams, rushing forward and grabbing the little brat by the throat. He reaches for his sword and slits Roger open; he then rips out Roger's entrails and loops them around his neck, throttling the Menodix with his own intestines.

Sadly, we must stop this rampage with tranquilizer darts so that Roger's paramedics can take him away and put his intestines back in, though with them being stretched as they are, it may be a little bit difficult.

The rest of the day consists of multiple Albel, possum, Albel/possum ambushes on the little Menodix, sending him back for operation after operation.

Day 4

Albel is upset; VERY upset. He and his new friend have much work to do. During breakfast, the two evil geniuses scheme up a perfect revenge for Roger. With their combined brilliance, they finally come up with a devious plan.

Roger decides he wants to play with his action figures and goes upstairs to his room after breakfast; a breakfast at which Albel did not appear. He opens the door and the scene within horrifies him; all of his action figures have been beheaded and hung from the ceiling by their ankles, blood dripping from their necks. He looks at the far wall and on it, a message is written in messy blood letters: "_YOU'RE NEXT, RODENT FOOL!_". The little Menodix turns and runs, terrified, downstairs, tripping and falling on a pile of broken glass at the bottom. He runs screaming, full of glass shards, into the kitchen and bumps into the counter, knocking off a huge cutlery set, which promptly lands on him, cutting him even more.

By this time, Roger is screaming his tiny head off and everyone (except Albel, of coarse) runs in to see what's the matter. He tells them about what he saw in his room and everything that's happened to him since and they run upstairs to check in his room. They get there, but find nothing out of the ordinary. Roger looks around in disbelief as everyone walks out. "But it was here!" he yells, "My action figures! The bloody writing! It was here!" He suddenly feels a chill go up his spine and turns around slowly. There in the shadows, two pairs of eyes gleam out at him, one red, the other yellow. The eyes vanish and he screams again, running back down the stairs to join the others. He trips and falls on an upturned nail in the stairs, but keeps running, not wanting to be left alone. Meanwhile, Albel and Alf laugh at him as they watch from the shadows, high-fiving again and vanishing to prepare faze two of their evil plot.

All throughout the day, Roger feels as though he is being watched. Sometimes he turns and no ones there, but other times, he sees the eyes glowing in the shadows. They always disappear quickly, but he is absolutely terrified.

Later, Roger climbs wearily into bed; it's been a long day and he really needs to sleep. The weirdest part is that neither Albel nor the possum attacked him all day. He lays down, but something feels weird. He grabs at the mattress and takes a huge hand full of something cold, slimy, and wiggling. He turns on his lamp and screams, as he discovers that he is holding a hand full of maggots. He looks down at his bed, which is covered by the squirming creatures. He hears diabolical laughter and turns to see Albel faintly outlined in the pale light, his crimson eyes gleaming murder, and on his shoulder the possum, his eyes glowing yellow. "Maggots for the maggot, fool!" Albel laughs before exiting via window.

Roger screams and runs to get everyone, but as before, everything is gone when the others arrive. They are really ticked at Roger now and leave him, starting to understand why Albel likes to beat the little dweeb up so much. "But...but," he calls after them, "you don't understand! He's out to get me! The possum too! They're here!" The others ignore him however, wandering back to their rooms to sleep. Roger doesn't sleep that night, as the evil laughter outside is scaring the crap out of him (quite literally actually).

Day 5

Another day begins and after breakfast, everyone goes about their ususal activities. Fayt is once again 'puffing the magic dragon', Maria is switching low-fat foods with their regular forms, Sophia is running like a maniac in order to lose all the extra pounds she's been gaining, Cliff is getting hammered, Peppita is having a tea party with her stuffed animals, Nel is feeding her Persian, Roger is hiding from Albel and the possum, and Albel is off somewhere plotting evil.

The bloody postal service was running a bit behind, so the mail was a little late this morning, meaning that our challenge letter didn't arrive before breakfast. When it does, Nel just happens to be raiding the fridge. She takes the letter and calls everyone into the living room. "We have our next challenge," she announces.

"Is it the real challenge letter?" Maria asks. Everyone looks at Albel, who just shrugs his shoulders.

"Yes," Nel answers, "we are to go outside; everything is already set up."

They all walk outside to find a huge above-ground pool set up, over which is a log. "We're supposed to fight a tournament up there," Nel explains, "we draw for our first opponent, and then progress through the tournament."

"What do we fight with?" Sophia asks, looking around for weapons.

"The letter doesn't say," Nel says, giving the letter another glance, "it just says to go to the other side of the pool to pick out our weapons."

Everyone runs excitedly to the other side of the pool, eager to get first pick of weapons, but what they see shocks them; lying in the grass beside the pool are not weapons, but giant tuna fish.

Many profanities, kicks to the pool, and accidental (and some not in Albel's case) injuries to Roger later, everyone picks up a fish and reaches into a nearby hat to draw a slip of paper with their first opponent's name on it.

First up, Peppita vs. Fayt. The two stand on opposite ends of the log, brandishing their fish like swords. Fayt seems to be having a hard time keeping his balance, but that's the price you pay for smoking pot. They walk to the middle and start to fight. Fayt swings his tuna at Peppita's head, but misses by a long shot, spinning off balance and falling into the pool. Everyone stares in disbelief. He doesn't come up for a while, so we send someone in to get him; turns out he was trying to light a joint down there. What a dumbass.

Next is Cliff vs. Nel. Once to the middle of the log, Cliff swings hard, but Nel ducks and rolls under him. He jumps to avoid her tuna as she swings it at his feet. The fight doesn't last long, however, as Cliff swings a bit too hard and Nel dodges, bringing her fish across his exposed backside and knocking him into the pool below.

Now it's time for Albel vs. Maria. The two of them clash fish like swords, blocking and parrying, trying hard to strike at each other. Suddenly, Maria slips on some fish slime on the log; while she is trying to regain her balance, Albel wacks her with the fish. She's not going to be in a very good mood when she gets out of the pool.

And finally, it's Sophia vs. Roger. Sophia is reluctant to hit Roger, as she is afraid she'll hurt him. With this advantage, all Roger has to do is smack her with the fish and he wins, though she probably won't be so nice to him in the future after being hit with a fish and doused.

And now for the first match of the semifinals: Peppita vs. Roger! Peppita seems to be having a hard time hanging onto the fish now and Roger, seeing this as the only way he can possibly win, takes advantage of Peppita's moment of weakness, slamming his tuna into her as hard as he can. She's probably not going to be very nice to him later either.

Last match of the semifinals: Albel vs. Nel! Nel has cut her tuna in half to more closely resemble her double-dagger fighting style. She starts slinging the tuna halves around, trying to smack Albel in the face. He is wise to this however, and uses his tuna like a shield, while kicking under it to knock her feet out from under her. Another splash and the semifinals are over.

Who would have guessed it? The final match: Albel vs. Roger! Roger is definitely intimidated, as we can hear his knees rattling very clearly. He swings blindly at Albel, who blocks with his tuna again. Roger holds his fish up in front of him defensively in preparation for Albel's strike, but being almost three times smaller than his adversary, it does him no good and he is swept into the pool with one brutal swing.

Before the ripples even fade, the water around the fallen Menodix is immediately disturbed, churning into a bloody froth. It seems that somehow (and geez, I wonder how) piranhas have gotten into the pool. They chew Roger up rather badly and swim away, leaving what's left of the little brat to sink to the bottom of the pool. Roger hits the bottom and looks slowly around, to find himself staring into beady yellow eyes again. There's Alphonso the possum in goggles and flippers with a snorkel. Alf laughs a bubbly laugh before tearing into the helpless Roger once again. Still on the log above, Albel laughs maniacally.

Twice in a row now, Albel has won immunity. The day ends with reconstructive surgery for Roger, a drinking contest between Fayt and Cliff, Sophia and Peppita planing revenge on Roger, Nel in the basement feeding her cat, Albel and Alf are celebrating the success of their scheme with a few drinks, and Maria is shooting paint balls in the yard (to keep from hurting Roger again) and Roger runs out to see what she's playing with and ends up shot in the head, with the paint ball somehow penetrating to his brain.

It is late at night and almost everyone is asleep...almost everyone. Two figures creep up the stairs and down the hallway to the room at the end, opening the door quietly and entering. In the dim moonlight shining through the window of Albel's room, we see that the two figures are Sophia and Peppita. "I'm glad you could make it," says Albel. He is seated at a desk (again-no idea where that came from) in front of the window with Alf on his shoulder, their eyes slightly glowing in the pale light. "What can I help you with?" he asks.

"We want you to help us get back at Roger for humiliating us today," Sophia answers.

"Yeah!" Peppita adds, "And for being a bully!"

"Then you've come to the right place," he says, taking a raw steak from a desk drawer and feeding it to the possum on his shoulder, who gobbles it greedily, "we can help you. What would you have us do?" The girls explain their plan hurriedly, trying not to laugh. Albel and Alphonso listen intently, nodding and making modifications where needed. "Excellent," Albel says when they have finished, making a small pyramid shape with his fingers, Monty Burns on 'The Simpsons' style; on his shoulder, Alf does the same.

Day 6

After breakfast, everyone runs off to get to their usual routines. Once again, Albel is nowhere to be seen. We finally spot him in his room pulling sealed iron drums full of something into his window. There is a crane outside lifting them in; it is of coarse being controlled by none other than Alf. Once all the drums are in, Alf jumps up into the window and the two look at the five barrels they've hoisted through the window, snickering a little.

"Time to take these to the rodent fool's room," Albel says, loading one onto a dolly and starting to wheel it out into the hall. Alf laughs as he runs back outside to get their other supplies. After taking all the barrels to Roger's room, Albel and Alf don radiation suits and pry the lids off the drums with crowbars, revealing glowing neon-green radioactive waste. They start laughing maniacally as they begin picking up everything in the room and dipping it into the barrels. They pull out paintbrushes and start painting radioactive waste on the furniture, fan, walls , ceiling, windows, etc.

Meanwhile, Peppita and Sophia are keeping Roger busy in the living room. "I'm so glad you two aren't made at me," he says, playing with the stuffed animals. The two conspirators exchange a glance and continue to entertain their target.

In Roger's room, Albel and Alf watch the radioactive ooze soak into everything and then drag the barrels out, laughing maniacally.

The day goes by with nothing too unusual. Cliff is plastered, Fayt is stoned, Maria is fattening every low-fat food in the house, Sophia is screaming about not fitting into her clothes anymore, Peppita is playing with her stuffed animals, Roger is returning from the ER, Nel is watching everything from the monitors in her room, and Albel and Alf are drinking to their victory.

Later that night, Roger goes into his room and climbs into bed, pulling the sheets up over his head (as if that will protect him). Behind him, he hears deep throated laughter. He whirls around to find his dresser right next to his bed, laughing between long fangs in its gargantuan maw, green eyes glowing with evil. On the dresser, his action figures are laughing their high-pitched laughs as they walk toward him, toy weapons raised over their heads. Roger screams and tries to run away, but the dresser picks him up by the tail, turns around, and starts shaking him like a rag doll. The rest of the furniture joins in, the chair punching him with its front legs, the table kicking him with its hind legs, the bed popping out springs to stab him with, the action figures shooting and stabbing him, the fan slashing him with its blades, etc.

The sounds of rampaging furniture and the screaming Roger can be heard all over the house. In Albel's room, he and Alf sit, cupping their ears as they listen to the first of the screams. "I must say," Albel says, pouring more scotch into his furry accomplice's glass, "breaking into that nuclear power plant and stealing the radioactive waste was just brilliant! Why didn't we think of it before?" Alf, who is wearing a small, monogrammed smoking jacket, swirls the scotch in his glass in one paw while smoking a pipe with the other. He squeaks a reply and Albel laughs (he understands that? we think he's been spending waaaaaay too much time with his furry friend...).

After burning everything in the room, Roger's paramedics are able to remove what's left of him and rush him too surgery. They really have their work cut out for them this time.

Day 7

The four conspirators look very pleased with themselves in the morning. The three at the breakfast table keep grinning and the furry one, still in Albel's room, is still snickering to himself.

The day goes by as usual, with nothing really out of the ordinary. It's just the usual smoking, drinking, spying, food contaminating, bloody kind of day.

Everyone finally goes to bed, bored silly with the monotony of the day. As Roger lays down and tries to fall asleep, he suddenly has a feeling of unease. He opens his eyes and looks up at the ceiling; there, hanging from a blade of the slowly spinning ceiling fan by his tail, is Alf. The little possum glares down evilly at the Menodix, snickering his maniacal snicker before launching down onto his hapless prey below. The screams of the embattled Roger echo through the house as he tries desperately to fight off the psychotic marsupial, who proceeds to shred him like a teddy bear in a blender.

RESULTS: Peppita has been voted out!

Ok, remember in chapter one when I said something about original characters? First one: Alphonso C. Possum III! Inspiration: I live in a rural area near a small forest and all kinds of wildlife ends up in my yard. There are many cute things, like bunnies and pretty birds, but there are also...possums. I was having a lot of trouble with possums in the yard at the time I wrote chapter 2, so it kind of showed up in the story. At first, the possum was only going to appear in the garbage truck scene in the last chapter, but my little brother loved it so much and I saw potential, thus Alf gained a greater role. For those of you who have never had the chance to meet a possum in real life, they really are this mean and nasty, just not as bright.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again! Week 4 now! Enjoy! Also, I would like to mention that there is another warped mind behind the scenes, giving me ideas and checking my spelling; the warped mind of...my little brother!

**Star Ocean: Till the End of Time**

**Big Brother**

Week 4, Day 1

It is a sad day as Peppita is forced to leave the house. She is bawling like a baby, but we insist that she leave with her family of circus freaks who have come to pick her up. As she is being dragged out the door, trying frantically to cling to its frame with her fingernails, we see a possum walking up the sidewalk and to the door.

The possum arrives and looks up at everyone inside. She sniffs around and turns her head to face Albel, who's boots she proceeds to sniff. "What do you want?" he asks, irritated. She looks up and squeaks a long reply which makes Albel turn pale.

"What did she say?" Sophia asks.

"ALF!" Albel yells up toward the ceiling, "YOU'D BETTER GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Alf comes scurrying down the stairs and to the door to find himself face to face with the other possum. The two start squeaking and hissing at each other, obviously arguing.

"What are they saying?" Sophia asks again.

Translation via Albel:

Alf: "But Fifi! I'm having so much fun here! I get to hunt that annoying racoon kid all I want! I'm not ready to go home yet!"

Fifi: "I don't care if you're ready or not! You're coming home right this instant you deadbeat! Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to take care of ten children by yourself!" She stands up on her hind legs to show the ten tiny heads peeking out of her pouch.

Alf: "But I..."

Fifi: "No buts, Mr.; you're coming home now!" With that, she reaches into her pouch and pulls out a rolling pin, which she promptly beats Alf over the head with. She drags the unconscious possum away by the tail.

"Alphonso!" Albel yells toward the possums shrinking on the horizon, "Who's going to plot ultimate evil with me now!" He looks to be on the verge of tears. Roger, seeing this, as well as the departure of one of his attackers, is laughing hysterically. Albel, enraged, draws his sword and slices the little Menodix's head cleanly off before running back up to his room. The paramedics rush Roger away.

In his room, Albel is looking at photos of his and Alf's more brilliant schemes, reminiscing of all the good times they had trying to kill Roger. He spends the rest of the morning quietly sobbing in his room.

It's time for Fayt's weekly restocking and he runs around the house, placing little plastic baggies in the most inconspicuous places he can find. Maria is out shooting in the backyard again and a bullet happens to ricochet off her target, hitting just about everything in the yard pinball style before flying into a window of a second story room; a loud, girlish scream is heard (obviously Roger). Sophia is smashing the scale in her room to smithereens with a sledgehammer, screaming psychotically about her rapid weight gain. Cliff is drinking straight from a keg in his room. Nel is brushing her persian, Mr. Flufflesworth, while watching the goings on of the house through her monitors. Roger is celebrating the departure of the possum in his room and manages to slice his arm off with a broken plastic bottle. More stitches!

Once finished with his restocking, Fayt makes his way to the kitchen. He starts pulling out utensils, dishes, and ingredients and placing them on the counter. He pours the ingredients into a large bowl and starts mixing them well. He looks up and glances around carefully, making sure that no one is watching and takes a small plastic baggie out of his pocket. He unzips the bag and upends it into the dark batter, stirring it in quickly. He pours the brownie mix into a pan and puts it in the oven. While baking the brownies, Fayt decides to bake himself as well, pulling a joint out of his pocket and lighting up.

Once the brownies are done, he takes them out of the oven, cuts them, tries to pick one up to eat (being stoned enough to forget that it's hot), and has his fingers badly burned. Cursing profusely, he jerks his hand back and jams his fingers in his mouth. He starts eyeing up the brownies again and reaches for one a second time with the same result. After repeating the process several times, he finally gives up, puts the pan on the windowsill to cool, and wanders off to find some booze.

Roger just happens to be passing through the kitchen a little while later and smells something good. He looks up to the windowsill and sees the pan, guessing that there is some kind of wonderful treat in it. Unfortunately, he is far too scrawny to reach the pan towering above him and has to stack a pile of chairs, pots, etc. to climb on. He makes it safely up to the top of his tower and grabs the pan of brownies. As he starts to climb down, a chair leg breaks off and the whole thing comes tumbling down. He somehow ends up at the bottom of the pile and has to claw his way out from under the many heavy objects. He suddenly remembers the brownies and looks frantically down to the pan in his hand to check them. His brownies are perfectly unharmed and he is so happy that he isn't even bothered by his concussion and broken ribs.

Roger goes skipping out of the kitchen, but slips in a puddle of water and goes sliding across the floor. The brownies go flying and somehow land perfectly on the counter, totally undamaged. Roger however, slides right into the paper shredder, which has fallen over, and is shredded to little bloody ribbons. His paramedics rush to the paper shredder and remove the basket, carrying it away to reassemble the little Menodix.

Maria walks into the kitchen to get a drink and is passed by the paramedics rushing out with the basket full of bloody Roger ribbons. She rolls her eyes and continues into the kitchen. She stops as she passes the counter, eyeing up the brownies sitting there. She picks one up and eats it, then goes on about her business.

As Maria walks out one door, Cliff swaggers into the kitchen through another door to get some more beer out of the refrigerator and spots the brownies. He eats one, grabs some beer and wanders back to his room.

Just as Cliff leaves the room, the grating on the ceiling vent is pulled away and Nel drops to the floor ninja-style. She has come to get more cat food for Mr. Flufflesworth. As she passes the counter, she spies the brownies and, looking around cautiously, grabs one and stuffs it into her pocket. She grabs a few cans of cat food and jumps back up into the ceiling vent and closes it, returning to her lair where her fluffy persian waits for his lunch.

Just as the grating is pulled back over the vent, Sophia ambles into the kitchen looking for a low-fat snack. She smells the brownies, however, and is drawn to the counter where the last three large, moist, dark chocolate brownies sit, still slightly warm, in the pan. She starts to salivate and licks her lips in anticipation. She glances around nervously, afraid that someone might catch her not sticking to her diet, before snatching the biggest one up and cramming it into her mouth. After making some disturbing sounds of ecstasy while chewing, Sophia remembers how upset Albel was after losing his best friend and decides that chocolate is the best medicine. She grabs another brownie and runs upstairs with it.

She opens the door to Albel's room and is assailed by about a thousand used tissues that had been carelessly thrown in a pile against the closed door. She squeals about it for a while before noticing Albel sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by tissue boxes and pictures of his and Alphonso's crazy escapades, bawling his eyes out. She holds the brownie out to him, "This might help a little". He turns and looks up, his eyes red and puffy from crying so much and takes the brownie from her hand. He eats it, chewing slowly while sobbing, and Sophia decides that it might be better just to leave him alone for a little while. She leaves quietly, closing the door behind her.

After being skillfully pieced back together by his exceptionally talented paramedics, Roger runs back to the kitchen, praying that the brownies are still there. He finds that only one brownie remains and throws a hissy-fit. Still angry, he grabs the last brownie and shoves it into his mouth, chewing greedily. Unfortunately, a shard of glass had mysteriously found its way into that particular brownie and Roger must once again be rushed off screen by his paramedics.

Fayt walks back into the kitchen just in time to watch Roger being carried out on a stretcher by his paramedics. He looks to the windowsill and sees that the pan is gone, but quickly notices it on the counter and walks over to it. He finds it empty and kicks the counter, swearing again. "Who took my brownies!" he screams, running into the living room, carrying the empty pan and waving it around over his head threateningly. Once in the living room, he notices some odd behavior.

Maria is shooting haphazardly at figurines on the shelves, blowing them to bits and laughing stupidly. Nel has brought Mr. Flufflesworth and his food dish up to the first floor and she and the cat are eating 'Fancy Feast' out of it. Sophia is chewing on the footrest, claiming that it is a chocolate and that the polyester stuffing is marshmallow cream. Roger is running around the room with a towel tied around his neck like a cape, pretending to be a super-hero; he jumps off an arm of the couch and his cape billows up, catching in the fan, which slings him around in circles a few times before he slides off and crashes into yet another glass cabinet and is carried away by his paramedics. Albel is running around like a madman, screaming and leaping over furniture and knocking things down, crashing into walls and then slamming into the sliding glass door and passing out; he thought he was running from wild dragons. Fayt doesn't spot Cliff however, but hears some disturbing sounds coming from behind the couch; he peers around the back of the couch to find Cliff making passionate love to a couch cushion. Fayt backs up slowly, trying hard to hang onto his breakfast, and then looks around the room at all his stoned friends. A goofy grin slowly spreads itself across his face. "Sweet!" he yells, "They're all fried!" He joins them in their stupid, drug-induced antics for the rest of the day.

Day 2

After breakfast, everyone wanders off around the house. Roger happens to be walking through the kitchen when the doorbell wrings. He opens the door to find a delivery man on the other side.

"I've got a delivery for a..." the delivery guy looks down at his clipboard, "Albel Nox."

"I'll get him," Roger says, trudging into the living room. He had so hoped it was fan mail for him. "Albel," he says when he spots the Glyphian watching a gruesome movie on the couch, "there's a delivery guy looking for you." Albel leaps up and practically flies over the couch on his way to the door. Roger rolls his eyes and plops down in front of the tv, changing the channel to "Barney" and watching attentively.

Albel walks back into the room a moment later with a truly evil grin on his face. Perched on his gauntlet is a trained hunting falcon. "Now, my pretty," he whispers, stroking the feathers on its head, "hunt the racoon fool." With an upward swing of his gauntlet, the psycho sends his new pet into the air. Shrieking shrilly, the falcon dives at Roger, who turns his head just in time to catch a beak in the eye. He gets up and runs screaming, trying desperately to escape the falcon, which chases him around the house.

While Roger is busy with the falcon, Albel goes back into the kitchen and picks up a small crate on the floor. He carries it into the bathroom most commonly used by Roger and closes and locks the door. He pries the crate open and reaches in carefully with his gauntlet. He lifts a small sea-serpent from the crate and drops it into the toilet, watching as it swims down the pipe, hiding in preparation for attack.

He runs back down to the kitchen and grabs yet another crate, which he carries into Roger's room. He drops it on the floor near Roger's bed and opens the front of it. Out slithers a huge anaconda, which promptly hides under the bed. Albel laughs maniacally as he runs back downstairs to see what havoc his new pet is wreaking on the 'rodent fool'.

The falcon is screeching and clawing at the bread bin on the counter, which is shaking wildly. Albel laughs and smashes it with his gauntlet, popping Roger out of it for the falcon to chase again. Roger runs outside, slamming the door behind him to keep the falcon from following him. He hears laughter and looks up to see Albel standing over him.

"So I see you've managed to outrun my new friend," Albel says, sneering down at the little Menodix, "but good luck getting away from these two." He whistles, then calls, "Shelby, Vox, come!" Two coon hounds come loping around the corner of the house to stand on either side of their psychotic master, growling at Roger.

"Why did you name your dogs after Shelby and Vox?" Roger asks, trying to stall, "I thought you hated those guys."

"Of coarse I did," he answers, "I just thought it would be funny to name female dogs after them. Get it? They're bitches!" He laughs hysterically, "And naming dumb, slobbering beasts after them is funnier still; if you ask me, the names fit perfectly." (Somewhere in hell, the dogs' namesakes are REALLY pissed off.) "Now, my hounds," he says, pointing at Roger, "HUNT!"

The dogs spring forward, barking wildly at Roger, who runs frantically up the tree. The dogs try jumping up the trunk but aren't able to reach and instead, circle it, knowing that their prey can't stay up there forever. Albel laughs maniacally as he opens the door to let his falcon out to pursue Roger. The falcon flies at the treed racoon kid, pecking and clawing at him, screeching psychotically. Albel returns to the house, chuckling to himslef as he listens to the screams of pain coming from the tree.

He goes back to the couch and plops down. He sits puzzled for a moment, a bit disturbed by the large purple dinosaur singing and dancing on the tv. He changes the channel to the bloodiest movie he can find. He glances out the window to see Roger pursued by the hounds and the falcon and laughs quietly to himself.

Roger spends the rest of the morning running from Albel's new pets and finally manages to run into the house and slam the door behind him, leaving them outside. He runs to the bathroom, as he hasn't gotten to go all morning. He soon runs back out screaming however, missing a huge chunk of his ass. His paramedics rush him off to repair his butt.

He is taken to his room to lie down. Once in bed, he hears a hissing noise coming from beneathit and leans over the side to look. Two beady golden glowing eyes stare back at him and suddenly, the huge anaconda launches at his head, grabbing him and pulling him under. The bed is bouncing around wildly as underneath it, Roger struggles desperately, but in vain, to escape the coils of the giant snake. He is strangled and swallowed whole. His paramedics rush in and move the bed to find the anaconda with a Roger-size lump in its stomach. They cut the snake open and remove the half-digested Menodix for surgery.

Cliff stumbles drunkenly into the living room, spouting incoherent gibberish. Albel jumps up from the couch yelling, "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER, YOU MAGGOT!" Apparently, Cliff's drunken gibberish meant something very nasty in Elicoorian.

Fayt saunters into the room and notices Albel holding onto the collar of Cliff's shirt with his hand and making a fist with his gauntlet, preparing to strike the drunkard. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" the crazed general is yelling in Cliff's face, "MY MOTHER WAS **NOT **A TAVERN WENCH!"

"Calm dooooooown, Al 'ol pal," Fayt says, obviously stoned, "all this yelling is harshing my buzz, maaaan."

"SILENCE, FOOL!" Albel screams at him, not letting go of Cliff, "UNLESS YOU WANT TO SHARE IN THIS WORM'S FATE!"

"Just quiet down," Fayt continues, ignoring him: a VERY poor choice.

Still hanging onto Cliff's collar, Albel rushes at Fayt and the three end up in a huge fist fight, demolishing the living room. Somehow, Roger stumbles into the middle of it and catches a nasty blow from Albel's gauntlet that sends him back to the ER.

Worried that the three brawling morons will tear down the house, we fire tranquilizer darts randomly into the fray. Once they are tranquilized, the three are carried off to their rooms to sleep off the effects of the tranquilizers and cool down a bit.

We now turn our cameras to Nel, who is busy brushing her precious cat. Suddenly, she starts coughing and gagging violently. Mr. Flufflesworth, spooked by the racket, runs off into the shadows as Nel continues to gag. She finally coughs something out into her hand. It's a hairball. Must be from yesterday's pot incident when she thought she was a cat.

The rest of the day goes pretty routinely, with nothing too out of the ordinary, except... In his room, Roger is making a phone call. He has planned a 'creature attack' of his own in retaliation for Albel's attacks today. This should be interesting.

Day 3

Everyone shovels down breakfast in the morning and then rushes off about their routines. Roger paces about impatiently, waiting for his surprise to arrive. Maria is switching the salt with sugar and injecting fruit with protein formula. Cliff and Fayt are having a drinking contest in the kitchen and spilling booze all over the place. Sophia is testing some new diet pills and chugging "Slim-Fast" in her room, trying desperately to lose weight. Albel is sicking his new pets on Roger, rewarding them with treats when they come back with a piece of the little brat in their mouths. Nel is dressing Mr. Flufflesworth, even putting a bonnet on him; he does not look amused.

About midday, Albel is watching yet another gory movie in the livingroom. He has adjusted well to this more sedentary lifestyle, laying on the couch, watching tv, and tossing potato chips absentmindedly into his mouth like any other couch potato. He hears the doorbell wring and, with no one else around to answer it (or so he thinks), he gets up and opens the door. What he sees terrifies him: it's that bizarre purple dinosaur from the tv. "What...the...hell..." Albel asks slowly, his eyes starting to twitch.

"Hey there, I'm Barney!" the obnoxious purple dinosaur says, "Are you Albel?"

"And..." he starts, still somewhat in shock, "what if...I am?"

"I got a call from a friend of yours who says you need a hug!" With that, Barney throws his arms around the unsuspecting general and squeezes him in an unbreakable bear-hug.

"AAAAHHHHH," Albel screams, trying desperately to break the beast's grip, "GET THIS THING OFF OF MEEEEEEEE!" Albel, realizing that the thing's death-grip on him is too strong to break, tries to jab it with his talons, but to no avail. He continues to scream, attracting the attention of the other residents of the house, who simply laugh and blind him with a thousand camera flashes. He notices Roger and realizes that he is the cause of this humiliation. Enraged, Albel tries to run, dragging the dinosaur along, to attack the little Menodix, but the purple freak lifts him off the ground and his feet flail about in vain.

Albel spends the rest of the day trying to extricate himself from the clutches of the vile singing, dancing dinosaur, and only manages to do so with the help of his hounds and falcon, who attack the beast restraining their master and drive him over a cliff and into the sea, where he is devoured by a 40-foot great white shark in a gruesome, yet spectacular display of blood and gore. Albel, realizing that this was a trap by Roger, shall be plotting an equally gory revenge.

Day 4

It's a rather routine day, with the only events of interest being Albel's attacks on Roger. Accompanied by his beasts, the mad (in more ways than one) Glyphian proceeds to rampage about the house, terrorizing the little Menodix.

The day ends with Albel trying to stuff the little brat as a hunting trophy (which we are forced to take away and resuscitate), and rewarding his pets with steaks for a day's work well done.

Day 5

It's day five, and we all know what that means...challenge day! Sophia arrives in the kitchen just in time to receive the letter, which she promptly opens and reads. She calls everyone in and they sit down to hear what inane, totally ridiculous nonsense we expect of them this time.

"What do those fools want now?" Albel asks, irritated.

"Yeeeaaahh," Cliff drawls drunkenly, "whada dey want noooow?"

"Our next challenge," Sophia answers, "is art."

"What kind of art?" Nel asks, seeming a tad interested.

"Any kind," Sophia continues, "whatever art form and subject we want. And of coarse, the winner gets immunity. We just sign up for what materials we need and they'll provide them for us this afternoon." Everyone starts muttering amongst themselves, trying to decide what they want to make and what they'll need. They all start scribbling things down on paper and throwing them into the box provided for supply orders.

They spend the rest of the morning studying art books and trying to figure out how to make what they want. The supplies arrive after lunch and are brought to the seven work areas we've provided for the contestants. Everyone takes their places and begins to work.

At his work station, Fayt is working with blown glass. He seems to be hard at work, trying to get just the right shape, blowing the glass between puffs of weed, and managing to burn himself quite badly several times.

Cliff is making a sculpture with, you guessed it, beer cans (which he provided himself). His work seems to be going well, until he realizes that one of the cans at the bottom of his sculpture still has a little beer left in the bottom and he pulls the whole thing apart to get less than a mouthful of booze.

Albel is oil painting at his work station. We won't look around to see what he's painting, but from the angle we're at, we can see him making huge, bold strokes and using a WHOLE lot of red paint. Oh dear.

Next, we check in on Nel, who is doing a water color painting. We won't look at hers yet either, but she seems very focused on her work, brushing carefully here and there.

Sophia is sewing a new loose-fitting dress, one she hopes will hide her ever expanding girth. She is REALLY starting to get desperate, as the mystery pounds keep packing up and she is beginning to spill out of her clothes.

Maria is sculpting something in stone, working hard. She keeps peering around the huge stone block at Sophia and then chipping away more rock. Could she be sculpting Sophia?

Roger is doing paper art, carefully cutting brightly colored construction paper into abstract shapes to adhere to a posterboard to make a picture. He is using plastic, child-safe scissors to prevent injury, but manages to slice his fingers to ribbons with the paper. Looking around, he notices some thimbles at Sophia's workplace and asks if he can have some. He places a thimble on each finger and continues to work.

Albel looks up over his easel at Roger, who is working diligently on his picture. A wicked smile spreads itself slowly across the madman's face. "Hey, rodent fool!" he yells at the little Menodix. Roger turns to reply but, not watching what he's doing, manages to cut his fingers off with the plastic scissors before he can get out a single word. Albel laughs as Roger is carried away by his paramedics again and resumes his painting, tossing aside yet another empty tube of red paint.

A few hours later, the impromptu artists are finishing up their pieces, or in Roger's case, trying to un-adhere themselves from them. It seems that while Roger was having his fingers sewn back into place, Albel covered the Menodix's picture with super glue and when Roger returned, Albel applied his boot to the brat's backside, kicking him onto the posterboard, where he has remained ever since.

Cliff has made a beer can sculpture of himself...drinking a beer; it looks like crap. Fayt has made a, you guessed it, bong, and is trying it out, showing that it is fully functional. Nel has painted a very regal picture of Mr. Flufflesworth on a red silk pillow in front of a window, from which the sunlight streams in, shining off the persian's silky white coat. Sophia's dress turned out well; it actually fits her! Albel's painting is of himself mutilating Roger, shredding the little Menodix with his katana and talons in a spectacular display of bloody, gory violence; we can see how he used up seven tubes of red paint. Roger's piece is disqualified, as he is stuck to it. Maria's sculpture is of a VERY fat Sophia and on the base, she has engraved, "Till the End of Key Lime"; obviously poking fun at Sophia's love of pie and failure of diet.

Looking around, Sophia notices the sculpture and turns bright red with fury. Screaming her rage, she charges like a mad cow at the sculpture, knocking it over in Maria's direction. Albel notices and quickly gives Roger yet another sharp kick, knocking him squarely in the path of the falling sculpture. Maria is unharmed, only pinned under the sculpture because Roger caught it with his tiny cranium, taking the brunt of the attack himself and getting a concussion. "It wont be long," Maria calls from under the statue, "before you're big enough to flatten someone yourself, you fat hippo!" Screaming again, Sophia spends the rest of the afternoon chasing Maria, who just barely managed to escape, around the house, trying to kill her with her own sculpting tools.

This time, immunity goes to Fayt, who's 'functional art' we find very intriguing. Maybe we shouldn't encourage his drug problem, but it sure has done wonders for our ratings!

Day 6

Everyone scarfs down breakfast at impossible speeds in an effort to get to their usual routines faster. Sophia seems even more determined to stick to her diet after yesterday's insult, but can't quite resist the donuts on the table, chowing down on the whole dozen and growling like an enraged animal at anyone who tries to grab one; Cliff ends up getting his hand bitten of coarse, being too plastered to realize the dangers of trying to take food from Sophia. There is only one pancake left, and both Albel and Roger are eyeing it up; the two launch forward, forks raised and once the dust and blood settles, we see that Albel got the pancake by sticking his fork in Roger's hand, pinning it to the table. Fayt is experimenting with sugar, snorting it through a straw, he quickly stops though, looking a bit sick. Nel wraps up some food from her plate and runs over beneath the vent in the ceiling, jumping up into it and traveling back down to her lair to give the leftovers to Mr. Flufflesworth. Maria, in an unusual display of childishness, is using her spoon as a catapult to fling scrambled eggs at Sophia, who, instead of being angry at the assault, is catching them in her mouth and eating them.

After breakfast, everyone wanders about the house, acting like their usual selves. Roger is still running from the falcon and hounds, who are still after his blood (as per their master's orders). Just as he is starting to relax on the couch, the falcon swoops down, screeching in fury and raking the little Menodix's face with its talons. Roger runs out the door and across the lawn, the falcon in hot pursuit. Albel just happens to see them zip past and runs out after them to watch the eminent gore-fest.

An eighteen wheeler is coming down the road, but Roger thinks he can make it and darts out across the street, narrowly missing the truck's grill...which is more than we can say for the poor falcon. The bird is caught mid-flap on the massive grill of the passing truck, impacting with a sickening splat.

"Noooooooooooo!" yells Albel, who runs after the truck, "He was to young and vicious to die!" He continues to run and disappears down the street, to the relief of Roger.

The little brat turns to walk into the house, but comes face to face with the snarling coonhounds. He starts to back up slowly, but the dogs launch forward and he turns to run. Roger runs faster than he has ever run before down the street in the direction opposite of that Albel took. He runs for quite some time and is just about to collapse from exhaustion when he sees a dog catcher's truck coming his way. Excited, he runs forward with new-found enthusiasm, waving his arms about and shouting to the oncoming truck. Unfortunately for him, the truck's brakes are old and don't work so well. As the truck screeches to a halt, Roger is hit and sent flying toward a dumpster. He slams into the lid and falls into the dumpster, onto an old pizza box; the dumpster's lid slams shut over him. He shakes his head, trying to orient himself, and finds that he is surrounded by twelve pairs of glowing yellow eyes.

In possum:

Alf: "It's the raccoon kid!"

Fifi: "And interrupting our dinner too!"

Their ten children: "Let's eat him!"

And with that, Alphonso's family attacks Roger, shredding the little Menodix with twelve sets of fangs and claws. If only Albel could see this.

Unfortunately, the dog catcher picked up the Glyphian wacko's dogs, as he had neglected to follow the city's leash laws, and took them to the pound. He's going to be VERY upset when he gets home and finds his prized coonhounds missing. We'll station a few extra security guards, just to be on the safe side.

Later in the evening, Albel returns, having not been able to catch up to the truck. He is again depressed, and even more so when his hounds don't come running to him. He spends the rest of the evening sulking in his room.

Around dusk, Roger (or what's left of him anyway) finally manages to crawl back home. He is rushed away by his paramedics as the others watch. We have no idea how they're going to fix him this time...or how he survived for that matter.

Day 7

It's the somebody's last day in the house and everyone is one their best behavior, so as not to be voted out. After eating breakfast slowly, even using proper manners, the residents of the house amble about, looking for things to keep them out of trouble...but who do they think they're kidding?

As Roger sits on the couch, watching "Barney" reruns (reruns because Barney was eaten by the shark), Albel glares menacingly at him from behind, slowly dialing a number on his new cell phone. He can be heard muttering something into the phone, but we can't quite make it out. He hangs up and flips the phone closed, chuckling fiendishly as he puts it back in his pocket and walks out of the room. Roger, totally oblivious, continues to watch tv innocently. Unfortunately, as the Menodix is watching the television, a mouse is chewing on the electrical cable behind it. The mouse finally chews through and the cable sparks, causing an explosion that propels the tv forward onto Roger, who is crushed beneath it on the couch. The mouse escapes unharmed and runs past as Roger's personal paramedics rush to his aid.

About midday, Maria is busy in the kitchen, contaminating food with anything and everything fattening she can lay her hands on, when the doorbell wrings. She opens the door and finds a large wooden crate on the front lawn. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she opens it to find a large hippo. She looks questioningly at the hippo, "Sophia?". Just then, Sophia is walking by and sees Maria talking to the hippo like it's her.

"Maria!" Sophia screams, infuriated.

Maria whirls to see Sophia standing in the doorway. She looks back and forth between Sophia and the hippo, seeming somewhat confused. "Wait," she starts slowly, "if you're there," she points at Sophia, "then who is this?" she asks, pointing at the hippo.

"YOU DIE, BITCH!" Sophia screams, charging at Maria. The two get into a massive brawl on the front lawn and Cliff, who happens to be passing through the kitchen, runs outside to see what all the commotion is. "Woohoo!" he yells upon finding the source of the ruckus, "chick fight!". The two combatants leap at him and start beating him up along with each other. Roger also wanders outside to find out what's making all the racket and is, like the half-witted Klausian, dragged into the brawl, sustaining massive injuries including, but not limited to, broken ribs, crushed tail, head trauma, a punctured lung, and substantial internal bleeding.

Albel hears the commotion and rushes outside to join in the fighting. He sees the hippo as he runs out the door and gets excited, "It's already here! Perfect!". It turns out that his phone call earlier was to order this trained hippo. "Roll over, Jumbo!" he yells, pointing to where Roger lies, bruised and bleeding in the grass. The hippo drops and rolls over the little Menodix, leaving a greasy, bloody spot in its wake. Albel takes a quick picture of Roger with his camera phone, and then rolls around on the lawn, laughing hysterically as Roger's paramedics struggle to retrieve the little Menodix. Unfortunately for Albel, the fight draws ever closer to him as he is laughing, and he ends up dragged into it as well.

While they are busy, the hippo wanders down the street in search of water to wallow in and is picked up by animal control after walking through several fences, scaring the neighborhood dogs, and tearing up a lot of yards.

Later in the day, those involved in the fight have their wounds treated and wander about the house to find comfortable places to rest. Albel, who escaped with only bruises, the most noticeable being a black eye, makes his way to the kitchen for a drink, where he runs into Nel, who is picking up more cat food. She looks at him for a moment, staring at his black eye, which really pisses him off.

"What do you want, fool?" he asks between clenched teeth.

"Nothing," she replies, "I was just wondering who had the audacity to give Albel the Wicked a black eye."

"SILENCE, WORM!" he yells, rushing forward to attack. Nel is faster however, and jumps up into the vent in the ceiling, escaping to the safety of the basement. Albel can't slow down in time and plows into the wall, thrusting his gauntlet through the drywall, on the other side of which sits Roger. Roger is impaled on the talons and must be removed for surgery. We think we'll let Albel try to get himself unstuck, as it should be funnier that way. He is trying to yank his gauntlet out, while pounding and kicking the wall furiously and yelling Elicoorian curses about the "red-haired witch".

Cliff is drinking heavily, trying to forget about the pain. Sophia and Maria are glaring evilly at each other from across the room. Fayt is baking himself in his room, trying to break his record for number of joints smoked in an hour. Roger is hiding in a large vase in the hallway, thinking that maybe if he can stay out of sight, he won't get hurt. Albel, who has finally managed to free himslef from the wall, while carrying a large chunk of it with him, stuck to his gauntlet, is stomping down the hall furiously; as he passes the vase, he smacks it with his gauntlet, shattering it over the hapless Roger and pummeling him with both gauntlet and drywall. It cheers him somewhat to see Roger's pain.

The rest of the evening goes by quickly, with most of the residents of the house resting after their big fight. Roger has built a fort of pillows and his mattress around himself in his room, thinking that that will protect him. The mouse from earlier today is up in the attic, chewing yet another random cable and, you guessed it, it's the cable to the fan in Roger's room. The mouse chews through his second cable and Roger's ceiling fan comes crashing down on top of him, also squishing the springs out of the mattress, which impale the poor little Menodix. More surgery!

RESULTS: Nel has been voted out!

Ok, original character #2: Mr. Flufflesworth! Like Alf, he was only meant to make a one time appearance, but then I decided he needed a larger role.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again, and thank you so much for continuing to read my insanity!

**Star Ocean: Till the End of Time**

**Big Brother**

Week 5, Day 1

Nel packs her bags quickly and loads Mr. Flufflesworth into his pet carrier. She walks up the basement stairs and out into the kitchen and to the door. Roger tries to pet Mr. Flufflesworth through the bars of the door of the pet carrier, but has his hand shredded and must be stitched up. Nel walks out the door as the others watch in silence, not quite sure how to react to the departure of the most reclusive member of the cast.

Within the hour, everyone is back to their usual shenanigans. Fayt is restocking, Cliff is busy getting hammered, Maria is dipping vegetables in melted butter and putting up poster-sized pictures of junk food, Sophia is making small craters in the floor with her feet as she walks down the hall, and Roger is trying desperately to dodge Albel's repeated attacks (and failing miserably).

Sophia waddles into the kitchen for a snack, walking up to her new industrial-sized deep fryer and tossing in random snack foods. She leaves the kitchen, popping her deep fried treats into her mouth and smashing out part of the doorframe on her way out. Albel, who was standing nearby, has now learned the wonders of the deep fryer...oh, no.

A little while later, Roger is sitting on the couch watching "Barney" reruns again, when he is suddenly grabbed from behind and yanked up and over the back of the couch. He is carried into the kitchen with a hand over his mouth and thrown into a big bowl of batter, into which he is stirred.

"Add one rodent fool and blend well," Albel says, laughing as he stirs the little Menodix into the batter. He reaches in with the talons of his gauntlet and pulls out the "battered Menodix", laughing as the half-drowned creature twitches in his grip. He then proceeds to throw him into the deep fryer, laughing maniacally as he does so. After leaving Roger in the boiling oil for a while, he pulls him out and puts him on a plate on the counter. "Sophia!", he calls, flapping adish towel behind Roger to wave the smell in Sophia's direction. He hears the telltale sounds of Sophia's approach (such as cracking floorboards), and dashes quickly out of the room, peeking out from around a doorframe to watch and stifling laughter.

Sophia walks in, sniffing the air curiously and notices the large deep fried treat on the counter. Excited, she runs over to the deep fried Roger, grabs him, and swallows him whole. Albel is rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically as he watches Sophia leave.

It's a few hours later before Roger's paramedics can treat him, how they recovered him...lets not go there. Needless to say, Roger is WAY pissed. Not like there's a hell of a lot he can do about it though.

Fayt is smoking a joint in one of the many closets he has stashed weed in. He takes a drag and starts to hallucinate, laughing at all the bizarre things he sees. He goes on like this for about an hour before falling asleep with a joint still in his mouth. The joint slips out of his mouth and falls onto a stack of towels, catching them on fire.

In another room, Albel is holding Roger up by his tail and shaking him up and down when he smells the smoke. Screaming, he tosses the Menodix aside and runs through the door, across the lawn, and up the tree again. Roger hits a wall, is knocked unconscious, and falls into another large vase. The others run outside, followed by Fayt, who woke up just in time to save his sorry hide.

The firemen are a little late in arriving this time, and about a fourth of the house is burned down. The cause of the fire is found to be a joint and everyone glares evilly at Fayt, who waves at them nervously. The firemen attempt to pull Albel out of the tree, but he has anchored himself securely to a branch near the top with his talons and refuses to come down. The firemen are forced to cut the branch off and let it, Glyphian included, drop onto a net below, however, we thought it would be funnier if there were no net and we removed it while they weren't watching, causing Albel to crash to the ground. Roger's charred bones are recovered from the ruins and his paramedics take them away to try and figure out what to do with him. Fayt certainly won't be treated well by his house mates.

After covering up the open walls with sheets of plastic, the rest of the cast turns on Fayt. They tie him up by his ankles and leave him hanging from a tree branch all night.

Day 2

In the morning, everyone wakes up bright and early to come outside and watch Albel slash the rope Fayt is hanging from, letting him fall hard to the ground. When he comes in for breakfast, Fayt finds that everyone has spit on his food, and that when Roger was trying to spit on it, he somehow managed to spit out a kidney.

We've decided that the most entertaining way to get the house fixed is to make the occupants do it! We give them the news...and dodge a volley a flying weapons as we flee out the door. Nevertheless, they will be fixing the house themselves.

Just before noon, the tools we ordered arrive at the house and are unloaded. The cast comes to investigate, the Elicoorians eyeing the power tools suspiciously. Albel picks up the nail gun and accidentally fires it into Roger's tail (no really, he had no idea what he was doing, so it was technically an accident). After getting over the surprise, he aims at Fayt and fires, but just then, Roger manages to pull his tail free of the nails by yanking it hard enough that it sends him flying into the path of the oncoming nails, which all hit his face. Foiled, Albel stomps off to find a new weapon. Albel + power tools baaaad news.

Cliff is trying to hammer together a couple of pieces of wood with no particular purpose, joking about hammering while being hammered and nailing things together when he would much rather be nailing...you get the picture. Maria has picked up the nail gun and is starting to put together the frame of the house. Albel is eyeing up the electric saw, looking back and forth between it and Roger while smiling that trademark evil smile of his. Fayt is holding a screwdriver, laughing at it like it's the funniest thing he ever saw. Roger is donning every kind of protective gear he can get his little paws on, and managing to hurt himself with it of coarse. Sophia is eating ice cream out of the bucket, refusing to work.

Roger ever-so-carefully pounds a nail into a board, trying hard not to injure himself, but hits his foot anyway. Behind him, the upper half of Albel's face rises slowly above a pile of plywood, like the ominous fin of a man-eating shark rising above the crest of a wave; it is followed closely by the electric saw in his right hand. We turn the camera to keep from getting the lense all bloody, and the sounds of the whirring blade, screams of pain, splattering blood, dropping appendages, and maniacal laughter can be heard. When the sounds stop, we turn the camera back to the gory scene to find Roger lying on the ground, surrounded by his detached limbs, and Albel running to the other end of the construction site, laughing hysterically. They'll never fix the house.

Tonight, with several rooms destroyed, some people have to share their rooms-namely Albel; he will again be sharing his room with Fayt. We have replaced his bed with a bunk bed to prevent the pointless mutilation of another bed, and the two are now squabbling over who gets top bunk. Albel shoves his gauntlet in Fayt's face, pushing him aside so that he can climb up. He then proceeds to mock the "blue-haired maggot", with insults to his manhood and some rather raunchy "yo mama" jokes.

Day 3

As Fayt turns the corner to enter the kitchen, he is assailed by falling garbage, coming from the upended trash can in Cliff's hands; it seems he still hasn't been forgiven. As the blue-haired stoner eats, he looks up to find everyone glaring at him murderously. He also finds a rather hot pepper hidden in a muffin, but only after chewing and swallowing it of coarse.

Back on the construction site, the animosity continues. As Fayt works diligently, trying to make up for what he's done, Albel watches from the rafters above. He smirks evilly as he knocks over a bucket full of nails just above Fayt. Just as the bucket is falling, Fayt realizes that he needs a different kind of tool and walks away to get it; just then, Roger is walking by and the bucket lands on his head, ramming countless nails into his tiny cranium. Foiled again, Albel stomps off to find something new to attack Fayt with and as he stomps away, he happens to break part of the board beneath his feet off, and it proceeds to fall on Roger, jamming the bucket down on his head harder. As Fayt walks past, headed back to where he was working before, Cliff sticks his foot out and trips Fayt, who then falls on Roger as well. The paramedics are going to have to work very hard to fix this.

Later, as Fayt is putting up drywall, Albel stands behind him with a sledgehammer. He swings the hammer savagely, but Fayt bends over just in time, reaching for another tool, and the hammer goes crashing through the wall, striking Roger and fracturing his skull. The psychotic Glyphian yells his rage and tries to kick Fayt in the ass, but he moves, still not realizing that he's under attack, and Albel's foot finds its way through the drywall to Roger's ass. Will everyone's favorite psycho ever get his revenge?

After receiving medical attention, Roger attempts to do the wiring. Another of Albel's attacks misses Fayt and slices off Roger's hands, splitting the wire he was working on as well. After having his hands sewed back on, Roger returns to his wiring and finds the sliced wire. He picks up the wires and looks back and forth between the severed ends, before bringing them together in an attempt to reassemble them...big mistake. The wires spark with electricity, shocking Roger and flinging him through a window. Roger's paramedics rush outside to the smoking heap of Menodix on the lawn. The rest of the cast complains of the smell of burnt hair and refuses to work for the rest of the morning.

Later, we see Albel sneaking around a corner cautiously, trying not to be seen; in his hand, he holds a chainsaw. He sneaks stealthily behind Fayt, who islistening toheadphones, and starts the chainsaw. Albel swings the chainsaw low in an attempt to hack off Fayt's legs, but Fayt, standing in front of a shelf full of tools, jumps up to reach a tool and the whirring blade just misses him. Unfortunately, Roger is standing just in front of Fayt and has his back sliced wide open.

Frustrated, Albel stabs at Fayt with the chainsaw, but the blue-haired hippy leans over to the side to reach another tool and the attack misses, hitting Roger instead. Now thoroughly irrate, Albel starts stabbing wildly at Fayt, who still doesn't know he's under attack and keeps dodging by sheer luck as he bends, leans, and jumps to reach tools. Finally, Albel flings the chainsaw down on the ground, stomps on it, and storms off. Fayt walks away with his tools, blissfully unaware of how close he was to death. Roger however, looks like a victim of the infamous Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

As it becomes too dark for the cast to see, they wander out of the construction site and back into the house. We can barely see any change in the construction from yesterday, and most of the changes are destructive in nature, including but not limited to, broken boards (courtesy of Sophia walking past and Albel attempting to assassinate Fayt), blood stains (Roger's of coarse), and totally random boards nailed together in a terrible mess (a la the hammered Klausian). Maybe we should just hire a contractor...

Day 4

We've decided to give these losers one last chance to fix the house and send them out early in the morning to get to work. No one is happy about the early wake-up call, least of all Albel, who sits down to drink his coffee and refuses to get up and help. Irritated, he picks up a nearby hammer and throws it at Fayt, but his target leans down to grab a screwdriver on the floor, and the hammer hits Roger in the head, splitting his skull. At least the antisocial Glyphian is getting an early start on something.

Once the caffeine takes effect, Albel gets up and starts looking for a new weapon of mass hippy destruction. Glancing over the power tools, his eyes come to rest on the power drill. This can't be good.

Fayt is finishing up the wiring in the wall, listening to his headphones again, when we see Albel sneak up behind him, with an especially evil grin on his face. He starts the drill and stabs at the back of Fayt's head. Conveniently, Fayt leans down to grab a pair of pliers just in time to avoid the attack and the drill goes through the wall instead.

On the other side of the wall, Roger sits on a stack of boards, taking his lunch break a bit early, when suddenly, the drill comes through the wall and digs deep into his back. His girlish screaming can be heard all over the neighborhood, but everyone has learned to just ignore it and the little Menodix is left to try and remove the drill from his back on his own.

Unable to remove the drill from the wall, Albel storms off and decides to investigate the source of the screams. He finds Roger, still stuck to the wall, and decides to cheer himself up by torturing the annoying rodent.

Moments later, we see Roger dripping wet and wrapped up in a frayed electrical cord, hanging from the ceiling. Below, Albel sits on the floor reading an "Electrical Wiring for Dummies" book and delicately arranging the wires in the wall. Satisfied with his work, he sets the book aside and stands up, placing his hand on a switch on the wall. Roger is bawling like a baby and begging for mercy, but the psycho on the ground only laughs as his victim desperately pleads for his pathetic life.

Grinning maliciously, Albel flips the switch and sparks fly as the electricity reaches the hapless Menodix, who is lit up like a Christmas tree. For a few glorious moments, Albel laughs maniacally at his electrocuted prey and inwardly pats himself on the back for his genius, when suddenly the power shuts off. It seems the voltage was too much and he caused a blackout throughout the entire block. Realizing what he's done, Albel races inside the house and locks himself in the basement, where he hopes he'll be safe from the angry mob that's sure to come looking for him. Meanwhile, the sizzling Menodix still hangs from the ceiling, shooting off the occasional spark.

Seeing very little improvement and very shoddy work, we've decided to call a professional to finish the job. Excited about not having to build anymore, the cast rejoices.

Day 5

You guessed it...it's CHALLENGE DAY! Based on this week's events, we've decided to make this challenge building! Upon receiving our letter, the cast is quite peeved, to put it VERY nicely. The supplies won't be here until afternoon, so after breakfast, the residents of the house wander off to do whatever.

Albel, feeling that he has been neglecting Roger lately, hatches a brilliantly evil scheme. He walks up behind the little Menodix and runs his sword through him. As the paramedics rush Roger away for emergency surgery, Albel sneaks up to the pest's room and sets up his traps.

Later, Roger wanders back into his room, looking for something harmless to do. He walks across the room to his large toy box, wanting to play with his favorite action figures. He opens the lid, expecting the usual toys, but instead, a barrage a spring-loaded daggers hits him in the face.

Noon arrives and everyone goes to their work spaces, glancing over the supplies and trying to decide what to make. This should be interesting.

Maria is building a gun rack, carefully hammering the pieces together and sanding them smooth. Sophia is trying to build a box for her snack collection, but having a difficult time of it because her fingers have gotten too fat for her to properly use the tools. Fayt is building a small storage bin for his stash, and seems to be having problems driving the nails in straight for some odd reason. Roger is building a small birdhouse, but keeps managing to drive the nails into his left hand somehow. Albel is building a large crate, no doubt to trap Roger in. Cliff is nailing together random pieces of wood with no particular purpose, laughing his stupid drunken laugh as he does so.

A few hours later, everyone is finished and it's time to judge their work. Maria's gun rack is well put together and beautifully varnished. Sophia's project is only half finished and very sloppy, as her fat fingers made building far too difficult and she gave up halfway through. Fayt's stash box looks almost as sloppy as Sophia's, and within moments, falls apart. Roger's birdhouse is so terrible that it has to be condemned. Albel's crate has turned out well and he immediately puts it to good use, trapping Roger in it. Cliff's...um...project...is terrible, being nothing more than a mass of boards nailed together pointlessly. Maria wins this immunity challenge.

After the challenge, everyone goes to the living room to sit and relax, except Sophia, who has returned to her room to run on her treadmill after being so utterly embarrassed by her fat fingers. Downstairs, as the others watch tv, they notice things around the room trembling. With each step of Sophia's enormous feet on the treadmill, the house shudders beneath her. Things are falling off shelves and breaking all around the room, causing Roger to flee to the center of the living room, away from the falling objects. Unfortunately, Sophia's exercise jostles the ceiling fan loose and it falls on the cowering Menodix, crushing him under it's weight. Maria runs to the breaker box and throws the switch, cutting the power to Sophia's treadmill and putting an end to the destruction.

Later that evening, after everyone but Sophia has finished dinner, Albel sneaks upstairs to the 'fat fool's' room. Her exercise earlier knocked down all of the weapons he had so meticulously mounted on his wall. He spots the source of the mayhem and picks it up. He then carries it to the large window and tosses it out. Just as the treadmill leaves his hands, he notices Sophia power walking below. All he can do is watch as the treadmill plummets down to earth.

Sophia just happens to look up and see the treadmill falling from above, panicking, she tries to run, but trips over her own flabby feet and falls on her fat face. The treadmill falls, but bounces off her gigantic ass and goes flying back up and through Roger's window.

Roger is sitting on the floor in his room, playing with his action figures again when he hears the glass of his window shattering and looks up just in time to see the treadmill flying at him. It lands on him and crushes him. Somehow, the plug manages to find its way into an electrical outlet and the treadmill turns itself on, sucking Roger into it and flinging him around in circles as the belt spins wildly.

Having seen the window the treadmill crashed through, Albel runs to investigate. He sees the state that Roger is in and laughs hysterically, picking the treadmill back up, with Roger still stuck in it, and throwing it out the window. This time, it crashes to the ground and shatters as intended, as does Roger's skeletal system.

Day 6

After yesterday's injury, Roger is in a full body cast. As his jaws are wired shut, he must now eat through a straw as well. Across the table, Albel grins evilly at his helpless and immobile prey. This should be an interesting day.

Roger sits in his wheelchair in front of a window in the living room when Albel sneaks up behind him. Slowly the Glyphian reaches for the handles of the wheelchair and then pulls Roger away from the window and into the shadows.

Roger is trying desperately to yell for help, but with his jaws wired tightly closed, he is having no luck what-so-ever. He soon finds himself face to face with his arch nemesis and tries to yell again, but to no avail.

"No one can hear you scream, maggot." Albel says, then starts laughing maniacally as Roger tries harder to yell for help. He wheels the little Menodix out into the backyard and starts digging around in the storage shed for something. He returns and sticks a golf tee in the ground, then places a golf ball on it. He picks Roger up by the throat and does a few practice swings, intending to use the brat's leg as a golf club. "Fore!" he yells as he swings the little Menodix viciously, sending the golf ball flying across the block and into the window of another house. "Aw, shit!" he exclaims, tossing Roger and running back inside, but not before writing 'I BROKE YOUR WINDOW, FOOL!' in huge block print with a permanent marker on Roger's cast. All Roger can do is bawl like a baby and try to wriggle away as the owner of the house whose window Albel broke, a huge, angry looking man with a baseball bat, strides up to him and proceeds to beat the snot out of him. Albel, watching from the safety of the house, laughs hysterically.

After being treated by his paramedics, Roger drags himself up the stairs and into his room, crawling into bed and trying to take a nap. He closes his eyes and tries to go to sleep, but suddenly feels very itchy. He opens his eyes to find fleas jumping around all over him. He screams and jumps out of bed, coming down hard on a pile of broken glass that materialized beside his bed. He goes running (more like falling) downstairs, screaming about the fleas that are now eating him alive, causing concern in his fellow house mates (or most of them, anyhow).

"What'll...we...do?" Sophia asks between mouth fulls of ice cream.

"I have the solution," Albel says from the back of the room. The others turn to look warily at him.

"No way I'm trusting YOU!" Roger screams, "You just want to hurt me, you moron!" Rogers paramedics are soon busy removing a knife from the Menodix's throat.

"I'm just saying that we should flea-dip him," Albel continues, "it's just a bath; a little warm water shouldn't kill him."

As no one else has any ideas, they decide to flea-dip the infested rodent boy. As they are also quite irritated with Roger, they decide to leave Albel in charge. With his gauntlet, the Glyphian grabs Roger by the ankles and dips him head-first into the flea bath, leaving the helpless brat submerged while he flips through a weapon magazine.

Roger struggles and squirms, trying to surface for air, but his foe's grip is too strong for him and he begins to drown. He finally stops fighting, passing out from lack of oxygen. Meanwhile, Albel is quite absorbed in the weapons magazine he is reading, almost forgetting that he is supposed to be flea-dipping the twerp. He suddenly remembers and yanks Roger out of the water, but it's too late. "Oh dear," Albel says, trying not to laugh, "I do believe I've killed the little fool." Like hell he didn't mean to, we'd also like to take this opportunity to mention that it was Albel who put the fleas in Roger's bed in the first place, hiding a flea collar under his iron one to keep the fleas off of himself. The paramedics rush in to administer CPR.

Later that night, after everyone has gone to sleep, a small blur streaks through the shadows in the hallway. A lot of racket follows as the blur crashes into a rare Ming vase in the hall and we realize that it is none other than Roger. After pulling shards of glass out of himself, he gets up and continues on. He comes to the last door in the upstairs hallway and sneaks in, setting off a trip-wire that brings down a shower of daggers. After removing them, he continues along the floor, the occupants of the room too deeply asleep to have heard the sounds. He starts digging through piles of dirty laundry thrown haphazardly onto the floor, stabbing himself in the fingers with forgotten daggers, and finally finds what he came for. Dragging the heavy object out of the room, Roger closes the door and makes his way downstairs (he was forced to move downstairs after the fire destroyed his room), tripping and falling all the way down with the object, which stabs him repeatedly. Once he gets back to his feet, he drags the object the rest of the way to his room, hides it (stabbing himself again many times), and then seeks out his paramedics.

Day 7

The cast is awakened by the house-shaking roar of, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY GAUNTLET!". Albel comes storming down the stairs and crashes through Roger's door (how did he know who did it? who else would be stupid enough?). He yanks the little Menodix out of bed by his throat, throws him on the floor, and brings one boot down hard on the brat's chest, pinning him to the floor. One eye twitching with rage, he snarls between clenched teeth, "Where. Is. It?"

"Where's what, ya moron?" Roger asks. Big mistake. Albel reaches down and rips Roger's tail off with his bare hand.

Amidst the girlish screaming of his prey, he answers, still speaking between clenched teeth, "You know what. MY GAUNTLET!"

"Oh, you mean that!" Roger replies, "Sorry, haven't seen it."

"Is that so?" Albel asks, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. He reaches down and shoves his hand down Roger's throat, reaching far back and then yanking it back out. After a while, he has succeeded in turning the little brat inside out. He then proceeds to turn the room upside down and manages to find his gauntlet, already stained with Menodix blood...which he promptly adds to before leaving. He passes the paramedics on his way out as they rush in to put Roger back together.

Of coarse Roger misses breakfast, and only Albel and Sophia eat, as everyone but Sophia is disgusted by the blood and gore covered psycho (nothing can dissuade Sophia from food).

Anyway, it's someone's last day in the house and everyone is trying to do their best at what they're famous for in an attempt to keep their places in the house. Fayt is chain-smoking pot, Cliff is staggering around drunkenly, Roger is hurting himself on everything that he can find, Maria is doing everything within her power to fatten her foe, Sophia is obsessing over her weight, and...Albel is nowhere to be seen.

Oh wait, there he is, carrying a...pet carrier? He walks into the living room and comes up behind Roger, who is busy dislodging the corner of a dried sponge from his windpipe (apparently they're very dangerous when they're dry). Albel grabs the little dweeb by the scruff of his neck and throws him into the pet carrier, walking back outside and getting into a taxi.

The taxi stops at the local animal clinic. Albel took the liberty of drugging Roger on the way over, so the Menodix is now silent, whereas earlier, he was screaming insults. The Glyphian psycho chuckles to himself a little before walking inside. He walks up to the front desk and tells the receptionist that he has already made an appointment. He then disappears down the hallway. We can only imagine what's going to happen to Roger.

Back at the house, we see Sophia finishing off a bucket of ice cream...then the camera angle widens and we see that she has emptied out the entire back of an ice cream truck. She then waddles off in search of more food.

Cliff is drinking straight from a keg in his room and babbling as he flips through dirty magazines. He soon passes out from his highly elevated blood-alcohol level. Apparently, even Klausians have limits.

Fayt is filling his/Albel's room with smoke from the many joints he is smoking simultaneously. He is also eating a plate-full of 'enhanced' brownies and snorting coke. Talk about overkill.

Maria is shooting targets out in the backyard again. A bullet ricochets around the yard pinball style and then flies toward the front yard, where it goes through the front of the pet carrier Albel is carrying back toward the house, further injuring its occupant.

Albel laughs at Roger's pain, then reminds himself of what he has just had done and laughs even harder. He walks back into the house and upends the pet carrier on the floor, spilling the sedated Menodix, who lies motionless on the floor. The Glyphian walks away, still laughing maniacally, leaving his victim on the floor.

Later, Roger awakens, groggy and quite sore. Strangely, he thinks he feels just a very slight bit lighter. He walks to his room to change into his pajamas and sleep off the pain. However, as our cameras focus on the outside of his closed door, we hear his shrill voice screaming, "WHERE ARE MY &!#S!". Upon hearing this, Albel, who was chuckling silently to himself since getting home, falls to the floor, laughing himself to tears. Apparently, that little trip to the vet was to get Roger...ahem...fixed. I think we know two people who are in absolutely NO danger of being eliminated. So now Roger's paramedics have to take a little trip down to the vet's office to dig through medical waste.

Later in the evening, the group is starting to gather around the tv. Cliff however, seems more interested in a large neuroscience book he is reading.

"WOW!" Cliff exclaims, slobbering over his book, "Now that's HOT!"

"What's so hot about neuroscience?" Maria asks skeptically.

"Um...it's...neurosciency?" Cliff offers.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sophia asks around a mouth full of chocolate candy.

"It's...uh...um...," Cliff tries, but fails to come up with an answer.

"Yoink!" Maria says as she snatches the book from the Klausian's hands. "CLIFF!" she yells, throwing the neuroscience book back at him and holding up the filthy magazine it had been used to conceal. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

"It's not mine! I swear!" Cliff yells, shielding his head with his arms.

"Then whose is it?" Fayt asks, glad that the negative attention is turned on someone other than himself for once.

"It's...uh...," Cliff stutters, using Fayt's ploy, "It's Albel's!" Good thing he was already on guard, as a flurry of katana slashes rain down on him in reply.

"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF POSSESSING SUCH SMUT, YOU WORM!" Albel yells, still slashing furiously at the defending Klausian.

"Oh, that's right," Cliff starts, "I can't believe I forgot you're gay."

"I AM NOT!" Albel yells, now punching at Cliff with his gauntlet as he continues to slash at him. Fortunately for Cliff, being bigger and having longer reach, he is able to hold the flailing psycho at a safe distance as he continues trying to sort this out.

"Wait, then what's with the dress?" he asks as the psychotic general flails at him in a rage.

"I DO NOT WEAR A DRESS!" Albel screams, now REALLY pissed off, "GO TO HELL!"

"It looks like a dress to me," Cliff says, looking around the room to the others, "What do y'all think?"

"Yeah, kinda'," everyone admits cautiously.

"Whadaya mean, 'kinda'?" Roger asks the others, just returned from his...um...repair operation, "Any moron with half a brain can see that that jerk's wearin' a dress!" His answer is a dagger thrown between his eyes.

"IT IS NOT A DRESS!" Albel yells again, so furious (and embarrassed) that he has turned a very dark shade of red, "ALL OF YOU, GO TO HELL!"

"Suuure it's not," Cliff drawls, "right gang?" The others laugh nervously.

We eventually intervene, tranquilizing the enraged Glyphian. This fight would have gotten way out of hand otherwise (especially after Cliff called Albel a "screeching homo"). It's not long before the rest of the cast wanders off to bed, wondering who will be saying goodbye in the morning.

RESULTS: Cliff has been voted out! (Probably, the viewers felt some pity for him, considering what Albel would surely do to him after today's...erm...events.)


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, now it's week 6! Thanks again for continuing to read this!

**Star Ocean: Till the End of Time**

**Big Brother**

Week 6, Day 1

Because of the events of yesterday, Cliff is rushed out of the house before the others wake up. As he drives down the street, suddenly his car explodes, sending him flying away across the horizon. In the driveway, we see a "Car Sabotage for Dummies" book lying on the ground. This explosion brought to you by Albel. Meanwhile, Roger is sleeping peacefully in his room when the engine from Cliff's car comes smashing through the ceiling and lands on top of the little Menodix, crushing him under its weight.

The explosion awakens the rest of the cast, who, having no idea what it was, shrug their shoulders and go to the dining room for breakfast. A flat-as-a-pancake, oil covered Roger crawls into the dining room and pulls himself up into his chair; it seems his paramedics, expecting no injuries this early, are out drinking coffee and it will be a while before he can receive treatment. Maria, with an evil gleam in her eye, watches gleefully as the rice-cakes she injected with melted lard are devoured by the crate-full by Sophia, who shovels them into her mouth at warp-speed. Fayt is sniffing coke between mouthfuls of food and sneezes, blowing the fine, white powder across the table and into the worst possible place. Albel, who is still in a foul mood from yesterday, slowly dusts the powder off his face, before unsheathing his sword and stabbing it across the table. Unfortunately, some of the coke got in his eyes and he can't see well enough to hit Fayt; instead he stabs Roger. Foiled, he decides to concoct a brilliantly evil scheme...right after breakfast.

A couple of hours later, Albel sneaks through the house and up the stairs, accidentally (though much to his enjoyment) stepping on Roger's tail as the little Menodix is passed out on the floor from blood-loss. He gets to his/Fayt's room and quietly opens the door, peeking in at Fayt, who is smoking several joints at once. He dons a gasmask (to avoid repeating earlier incidents) and walks into the room.

Fayt is so totally out of it that he doesn't even notice Albel enter, or grab a mallet and clock him over the head with it. He is then dragged out of the room and down the stairs by his ankles.

Once in the kitchen, Albel picks Fayt up and throws him into a huge vat of melted chocolate. He then pulls his blue-haired foe out using his gauntlet and proceeds to stand him up to dry.

Fayt awakens slowly, feeling a sharp pain in the back of his skull. Strangely, he thinks he smells chocolate, and a lot of it. He finds that he is unable to move and opens his eyes to find Albel looking back at him, chuckling evilly. He tries to ask, "What have you done?", but finds that his mouth is covered by chocolate, as is the rest of his body, and all he can get out are unintelligible, muffled cries.

"In case you're wondering," Albel starts, "this is for this morning. It is also for yesterday; I know you didn't have much part in that stupidity, but Cliff isn't here anymore so I needed to find someone else to take it out on." Chuckling again, he calls, "Sophia!", and then hides where he can still have a good view.

Fayt, realizing what is about to happen, tries to scream and hop away, but he is totally immobile, as Albel thought ahead and poured more of the chocolate around his captive's feet to dry him in place. We hear floorboards splintering off screen and soon, Sophia appears in the kitchen. She sees the chocolate coated Fayt and gets VERY excited, rushing over to him and jumping up and down. This jumping shakes more than a few things down from shelves, and yet another fan down on top of Roger in the living room.

CENSORED: DUE TO GRAPHIC CONTENT, THIS NEXT SCENE WILL NOT BE SHOWN.

When we turn the cameras back on, we see Fayt huddled in a corner in a fetal position, shaking and sobbing quietly. He is also covered in drool. Albel is also in tears, though it's only because he is laughing so hard. It seems that Fayt will be spending the rest of the day in therapy, trying to get over this ordeal.

Later in the afternoon, an eighteen wheeler is seen driving up to the house. Maria rushes outside to accept the delivery.

In the living room, Sophia is sitting on the floor (she is now too big for the furniture), when she smells something delicious. She gets up and waddles into the kitchen to find crate loads of twinkies. Thrilled, she rushes to them and scarfs them all down at blistering speed, her girth enlarging even as we watch. Maria watches and then laughs an evil laugh of her own.

Unfortunately, Roger also loves twinkies and had climbed into one of the crates to eat some. Sophia, too impatient to pick up and unwrap each individual twinky, is picking up crates and upending them into her mouth, pouring hundreds of twinkies down her gullet at a time. She lifts the crate Roger is eating from and is too intent on the sweets within to hear Roger's panicked screaming and he ends up taking yet another trip down her esophagus. His tortured screams can be heard from outside as the gastric acid in Sophia's stomach burns him. It'll be a few hours before his paramedics can treat him.

The rest of the afternoon goes by with little out of the ordinary. Maria finding new ways to fatten Sophia, the aforementioned glutton falling for each one, Roger sustaining many new injuries, Albel trying to kill various members of the cast (mostly Fayt), and Fayt getting high as a kite (after getting out of therapy). However, as night descends and everyone starts to wander off to bed, we notice some strange activity.

In her room, Sophia is obsessing over her weight again and pacing as she mumbles, causing objects downstairs to rain down on the inhabitant of the room below her; you guessed it-Roger. She then seems to get an idea and we move our surveillance to assess the damage to Roger; he isn't doing so well.

About a half hour later, Fayt and Albel are racing up the stairs, the Glyphian trying to swat the blue-haired stoner away and beat him into their room. They fling the door open and, after briefly getting stuck in the door way, go flying inside and land on their faces.

"Get off me, maggot!" Albel yells, shoving Fayt off of him so that he can get up.

"Don't be so mean!" Fayt whines.

"Don't be such a dumbass!" Albel replies, mocking Fayt's whining voice.

"Faaaaayt," someone calls from the darkness. The guys flip the light switch and come face-to-fat with the most terrible sight in the history of the universe: Sophia...in lingerie. They are too stunned to speak. "Fayt," Sophia says, "make me feel pretty." She tries to look seductive, but ends up looking more like a beached whale with a hernia.

The guys look at each other, their faces pale, their hair standing on end, sheer horror in their eyes. They then scream bloody murder and try to run out the door. Albel makes it there first and slams the door shut behind him, trapping Fayt inside. We can hear Fayt screaming and things inside breaking and can only imagine what poor Fayt must be going through.

Day 2

The next morning, the cast assembles at the breakfast table, red-eyed and mentally disturbed. It seems no one could sleep with the terrible goings on upstairs and they are all very deeply disturbed by the images in their heads. The screams, the crashes, yet another fan falling on Roger; no wonder they couldn't sleep.

Fayt does not appear at the table this morning, as he is having some broken ribs tended to. Sophia looks rather pleased with herself, shoveling her breakfast into her mouth with...a shovel. Maria is glaring daggers at the fat cow across the table, ready to kill her at any moment. Roger still has a fan blade stuck in his head, as his paramedics decided to go out drinking last night (to escape the awful sounds) and are soundly asleep now. Albel, though sleep deprived, is laughing an insane laugh at the thought of what happened to Fayt; he is also chewing on a dish towel (apparently, he's more out of it from sleep deprivation than we thought).

After breakfast, the rest of the cast returns to their rooms to get some sleep. Fayt, after having his ribs repaired, sneaks around the house, trying to find a safe place to hide from the now predatory Sophia. He is however, unsuccessful, and Sophia manages to find him and picks him up King-Kong-style, carrying him off into the shadows as he screams desperately for help. The other cast members have found earplugs however, and are unable to hear him.

Finally, around dusk, the rest of the cast emerges from their rooms. They find Fayt hiding in a closet again, only this time, it's out of fear instead of a need for weed. Maria is outraged.

"That sex-fiend must be stopped!" Maria yells, slamming her fist into her open palm.

"What's a 'sex-fiend'?" Roger asks, being a clueless child.

"Actually, as long as she stays the hell away from me, I find the obese harlot's shenanigans quite amusing," Albel says, laughing at Fayt.

"What's a 'harlot'?" Roger asks, still clueless.

"I don't think we have to worry about her going after you," Maria says to Albel, ignoring Roger's question again.

"Yeah," Fayt says from his hiding place in a pile of towels in the closet, "she knows you're gay." This starts another long, loud argument, as the characters debate Albel's sexual orientation, much to his horror. They finally settle it (there is of coarse a katana involved in the settling of the matter) and get back to the problem at hand.

"What can we do?" Fayt asks.

"What's a 'harlot'!" Roger asks again, growing impatient now.

"A whore," Albel answers Roger.

"I don't know, we'll think of something!" Maria answers Fayt.

"What's a 'whore'?" Roger asks.

"A hussy," Albel answers again.

"Like what!" Fayt asks Maria.

"What's a 'hussy'?" Roger asks Albel again.

"A loose woman," he answers, snickering.

"There has to be something we can do!" Maria yells back to Fayt.

"What's a 'loose woman'?" Roger asks.

"A prostitute," Albel answers, barely managing to keep from laughing.

"What's a..." Roger starts.

"STOP IT, YOU TWO!" Fayt and Maria yell, "We're trying to come up with a plan!"

"We'll discuss it later," Albel leans down and whispers to Roger, enjoying the thought of traumatizing the little Menodix with a discussion of "The Birds and the Bees".

Maria and Fayt spend the rest of the day trying to come up with a plan to keep Sophia away from Fayt; however, this is going to be very tricky and could take a very long time. Sophia spends the rest of the day hunting Fayt down, even using a pile of weed as bait. Later, we see Roger sitting in a dark corner, shuddering and muttering to himself, rocking back and forth as if he has just been traumatized. It seems he and Albel had that little chat. The aforementioned psycho is walking away, laughing hysterically.

Day 3

Fayt spent the night hiding in a closet, as he was afraid that if he went back to his room: A) Sophia would find him again; or B) Albel would kill him for his comment yesterday; whichever came first.

Needless to say, Fayt isn't feeling terrific after spending a night in the closet; he's stiff and cranky. Taking advantage of the slowness brought about by Fayt's cramped muscles, Sophia launches yet another attack, reaching out from the shadows to grab his ankles and drag him into the darkness with her as he screams for help and tries desperately to hang onto the floor, scraping long marks into the linoleum with his fingernails.

Later Roger runs through the kitchen on his way to breakfast and trips over the shallow scratch marks, flying into a meat grinder on the other side of the room and, of coarse, becomes 'ground Menodix'. Albel, who happens to be walking by right on time, laughs hysterically at Roger's misfortune. He then ponders for a moment what could have made those bizarre marks on the floor, but smells breakfast and decides that the origins of the scratches on the floor are not really all that important.

Maria is already at the table, waiting for everyone else to show up. Albel walks in, carrying Roger (or what's left of him, anyway) on a plate which he sets down in Roger's chair, being a smartass. Sophia and Fayt do not appear however, causing Maria to leap up from her chair and tear off down the hall to look for them, gun at the ready. Albel watches her disappear, then, with everyone else out of the way, eats everything; it seems he has developed quite a talent for eating lately, if only to deprive the others of food.

About a half-hour later, Maria, feeling defeated, returns to the breakfast table empty handed. She finds the food gone, and a note lying by Roger that says, "I ate the food." Being too hungry and angry to really care who was truly at fault, Maria incinerates him.

Later, Albel is walking down the hall when someone reaches out and grabs his ankle, startling him into drawing his sword. He looks down to find Fayt looking pitifully back up at him; he does not sheath his sword.

"Al," Fayt calls up, "help me...please..."

"Get off, maggot!" Albel yells, shaking Fayt off his foot.

"Don't yell!" Fayt whisper yells, "SHE'LL hear you!" This gives Albel yet another evil idea.

"SOPHIA!" Albel yells down the hallway, "I think you lost something!"

"NOOOOOO!" Fayt yells at him, "What are you doing!" Albel only laughs as Sophia materializes out of nowhere and lassoes Fayt, dragging him away kicking and screaming.

Roger's paramedics have reassembled him and he is playing with his action figures in his room. We should probably add that there is a choking hazard warning on these figures, however, it is for 3-year-olds and under...but this is Roger, he's a special case...a special case who is now turning purple and gasping for breath. We watch his eyes roll back up into his head and his paramedics descend upon him to resuscitate him.

Maria is hunting Sophia and Fayt down again, stalking the hallways, gun drawn and ready. She finds 'the target' and rescues him from Sophia after a short shoot-out. Sophia lets out a Godzilla-like roar as Fayt escapes. Maria and Fayt run to the other end of the house before stopping to catch their breath.

"There's gotta' be some way out of this nightmare!" Fayt says between panting.

"You have three options," Maria answers him, also panting.

"I'm ready to do anything," Fayt replies.

"Ok, option number one," Maria starts, "you do everything you can to deliberately get voted out."

"WHAT!" Fayt yells, "That's crazy! I'll lose!"

"Ok," Maria continues," option number two: we find a way to get Sophia voted out."

"How will we do that?" Fayt asks, "I'm sure the viewers think she's hilarious." He does a quick over-the-top smile for the cameras. Fayt: ever the ham.

"And option number three," Maria finishes, "you could start going out with me."

"This is no time for jokes, Maria!" Fayt yells, "I'm in serious danger!"

"R-right," Maria stammers, nervously, "no time for jokes."

"I don't think the trigger-happy fool was joking, worm," Albel says to Fayt. He was easily able to sneak up on them as they were too busy plotting to notice anything.

"SHUT UP!" Maria screams, hitting him with a nasty uppercut.

"ARE YOU MAD!" Albel yells at her, "You could seriously hurt someone doing that!"

"I think that was the idea," Fayt comments.

"At least I'm not gay!" Maria yells at Albel.

"FOR THE LAST TIME," Albel roars, "I AM **NOT** GAY!" This is followed by a flurry of katana slashes directed at the 'blue-haired maggots', who turn tail and run as fast as they possibly can.

The rest of the day goes by about the same: bizarre injuries for Roger, Maria trying to hide Fayt from Sophia, and Albel is stalking around the house trying to find and kill Maria and Fayt.

Day 4

The cast assembles around the breakfast table to eat. Only a few minutes in, and Roger is already struggling to dislodge an apple from his throat (that's right, a WHOLE apple). Sophia is making eyes at Fayt from across the table, the aforementioned stoner grabbing his plate and fleeing. Maria seems to be calculating how best to remedy the problem, looking back and forth between Sophia and the direction Fayt ran off in. Albel is seriously ticked off, and seems to be plotting unspeakable evil (when is he not?).

"Hey, Annabel," Maria says teasingly, "pass the syrup would you?"

"SILENCE, FOOL!" Albel roars. He then blasts her with a 'Dragon Roar' attack, which she uses Sophia's bulk to deflect. The attack bounces off her abundant fat and hits Roger, who is incinerated by the summoned dragon. Foiled again, the enraged psycho leaps across the table, sword drawn, to attack Maria.

"You die now!" he yells as he brings the blade of his katana down. Maria leaps quickly behind Sophia again and the blade strikes the glutton, bouncing off harmlessly. It seems that even the legendary 'Crimson Scourge' is no match for the 'Elastic Girth' of Sophia. "That's impossible!" Albel yells in surprise as the sword vibrates in his hand from the impact.

"_Ow_," the 'Crimson Scourge' speaks into its master's mind, "_that hurt_."

"Shut up, you stupid sword!" he yells back at it, "How could you just bounce off like that!"

"_Let's trade places_," the sword snaps back, "_I'll be the duffus and you be the sword. I'll hit that corpulent wench with you and then we'll talk_."

"SHUT UP!" he yells back, flailing the sword in the air.

"_Throwing a temper tantrum won't help_," the sword tells him.

"Silence, smartass!" Albel yells back at the sword, furious. He runs off down the hall still screaming profanities at the 'Crimson Scourge', who answers with more witty remarks. The others watch in confusion, as they can't hear the voice of the sword and think that he's just crazy for yelling at his sword.

When Maria looks back, she sees that Sophia has disappeared. Enraged, she leaps from her chair to give chase, her gun in her hand and ready to fire at any moment. Roger stays behind to finish breakfast, but when he looks down, he notices that all the food is gone. Realizing that it could only have been Sophia, he hops out of his chair to chase after her too, brandishing his ax wildly. Of coarse, it being Roger and all, he falls on his face...on top of his ax. Now his paramedics will have to dig the blade of his ax out of his face.

The cast spends the rest of the morning thusly: Roger hunting down Sophia to punish her for eating all the food while managing to hurt himself every step of the way, Maria hunting down Sophia in an attempt to save Fayt, Sophia hunting down Fayt for obvious reasons, Fayt hiding from Sophia for reasons just as obvious, and Albel having a battle of whits with the 'Crimson Scourge' which, sadly, he seems to be losing.

At lunch time, Maria is still hunting Sophia who is still hunting Fayt who is still hiding somewhere. Roger has given up the chase to eat lunch and Albel has finally stopped arguing with his sword, as it grew bored with the whole ordeal and simply opted to remain silent. It's now just Albel and Roger eating lunch.

Albel, in a very foul humor lately, glares evilly at the little Menodix across the table, thinking of doing something cruel no doubt. Roger keeps glancing up nervously at his arch nemesis, who continues to stare at him from across the table. Roger looks down at his plate as he scoops up another mouthful with his fork and when he looks back up, he notices that Albel has vanished. He looks around nervously, trying to spot the psycho, but he is nowhere to be seen. Knowing what's coming, we start to play the "Jaws" theme, which scares Roger even worse. Just as the music reaches its climax, Roger is yanked under the table kicking and screaming and we can hear the sounds of what must be a massive beating going on down there. Blood splatters on the floor around the table, but we can't see what's going on down there because of the table cloth. Finally, it grows quite and Albel crawls out from under the table, covered in blood (Roger's of coarse). He dusts himself off and walks away, whistling innocently and we watch as Roger's paramedics rush in to pull the mangled Menodix out from under the table for surgery. It ain't pretty.

Later, we see Albel chasing Roger around the house, reminiscent of those old "Tom and Jerry" cartoons, only this time, it's the small one getting hurt. Albel finally catches up to Roger and picks him up by the back of the collar of his shirt, raising him into the air kicking wildly.

"I've got you now, you little worm!" Albel shouts in triumph, laughing an evil laugh.

"Let me go!" Roger pleads, "Please! I won't bother you any more! Please don't hurt me!" But his pleas fall on deaf ears, as Albel proceeds to beat the crap out of him, still laughing maliciously. After taking many repeated blows to the head, Roger tries again, "Please, stop hitting me!"

"Silence, maggot," Albel taunts, "it's not over 'till the fat lady sings!" Just then, Sophia finds Fayt and grabs him, singing a loud, happy song of victory. Roger smiles as Albel looks at her in pure disbelief. "Oh well," he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"You're gonna' let me go?" Roger asks excitedly, spitting out a few teeth as he does so.

Albel looks back at him and grins evilly, "No."

"But you said it'd be over when the fat lady sings!" Roger objects, "The fattest lady I've ever seen just sang!"

"Did I say that?" Albel asks, pretending to ponder, "I don't recall saying anything of the sort."

"But...!" Roger starts, but is silenced by Albel's fist smashing into his jaw like a sledgehammer. And the pounding continues.

Dinner time comes soon and everyone makes it to the table for the last meal of the day. Everyone that is, except Sophia. The other start shoveling food into their mouths as fast as they possibly can, taking advantage of this fine opportunity to fill their stomachs for once. After eating all they can, they sit back and wonder what could make Sophia miss a meal.

"Why do you think Sophia didn't show up," Fayt asks, worried that she might be plotting something.

"I don't know," Maria tells him, "it's totally unlike her."

"I'm scared," Fayt whispers, shrinking into his chair.

"A real man wouldn't be scared," Roger says, jumping up on the table to emphasize his point. However, he jumps up into the bowl of mashed potatoes, slips, and falls backwards onto the floor, busting his head open. Albel laughs hysterically as Fayt and Maria watch in horror while Roger's paramedics scrape his tiny, rodent brain off the floor and carry him away.

Albel reaches for his glass of water, but notices movement on the surface. "Look at this," he tells the others, who circle around to get a better look. They watch as the surface ripples again, hearing a distant sounding boom. It happens again and again, in a strange rhythm, the booming sound drawing ever nearer and the ripples getting bigger. Suddenly, the kitchen door splinters and Sophia walks in, obviously the source of the noise and ripples. She's been to the local fast food restaurants (yes, all of them) and emptied them out; obviously she got tired of waiting for dinner. Excited to see Fayt out in the open, she pounces on him, crushing him under her immense weight before he even has a chance to scream.

Albel laughs maniacally at Fayt, who's muffled cries are barely audible, silenced by Sophia's insulating layers upon layers of fat. Maria enraged, looks back at the laughing psycho in fury. "What are you laughing at, you cackling queer?" she asks, snickering a little as she does so.

"I AM **NOT** QUEER!" he roars, sending out a flurry of 'Dragon Roar' attacks again. Maria jumps behind Sophia to avoid them. "THERE IS NO ESCAPE, YOU BLUE-HAIRED BIMBO!" he yells, laughing maniacally as his summoned dragons fly toward their intended target.

Unfortunately, as the first dragon draws near enough to strike, Sophia opens her gargantuan mouth and swallows it whole. The other dragons, upon seeing this, turn tail and flee, whimpering and crying like beaten dogs.

"WAIT!"Albel yells at the retreating dragons, "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!" He watches in sheer horror as Sophia leaps up and chases after the dragons, devouring them all and licking her lips, looking around for more. "Wha..." he tries to speak, "What manner of monster are you?" She skips gleefully out the door and into the living room, shaking the house to its very foundation with each impact of her massive feet on the floor. In her wake, she leaves Fayt in the middle of a crater on the floor, looking something like a bug that has been squashed and smeared under a shoe.

After resuscitating Fayt, Maria helps him up to his room to rest. The others soon hit the hay as well.

Day 5

Well, here it is again: challenge day. The cast assembles at the breakfast table, and after stuffing their faces, read the challenge letter. Roger has to be rushed away by his paramedics however, because of an insult induced sword wound.

Today, Maria reads the challenge letter aloud to the rest of the cast. "This week's immunity challenge is..." her eyes widen and her jaw drops.

"What is it, you blue-haired fool?" Albel asks, tapping his fingers on the table impatiently, "Spit it out."

"Oh, dear..." Maria is still speechless.

"What?" Sophia asks, her word muffled by a mouth full of breakfast.

"It's an..." Maria strains to get the words out, "eating contest."

Albel, Fayt, and Roger (who has just returned from surgery) are aghast. Sophia, however, is delighted, bouncing up and down excitedly in her chair, knocking down the light fixture over the table onto Roger.

"The contest is at lunchtime," Maria says, still in shock.

Sophia bounds off to her room, crushing everything in her path, including Roger, who tried to run out before she did and stepped on the end of a loose board, which brought the other end up to meet his face.

The rest of the morning passes quickly, with Sophia looking forward to the challenge and the others are just trying to figure out what the hell they should do, as everyone knows that they have no chance what-so-ever of defeating Sophia.

Finally, it is time for the immunity challenge. The cast assembles in the backyard, where we have set up tables piled high with food. Sophia is giddy with joy and hopping around excitedly. Fayt has gotten super high, hoping that his case of the munchies will work to his advantage. Roger is determined to win, hoping against all hope that he might defeat Sophia. The other two members of the cast have refused to participate in this particular challenge, however; Maria worried about keeping her figure and Albel calling the whole thing ridiculous. They will be eating their normal lunch.

The three participating cast members choose their seats and start digging in. They all seem to be doing really well, but Fayt soon looks rather sick and runs to barf in the nearby hedges; seems the pot worked to his disadvantage.

As the competition heats up, we watch Roger's girth expand with every plate full of food he crams down his throat. His stomach starts to rumble in a strange way and he looks up from his food for a moment, worriedly listening to the bizarre sounds. Suddenly, he explodes, spraying the yard with half-digested food and bloody bits of Menodix. We pity his paramedics, who scramble about the yard, trying to pick up all the pieces.

Of coarse, being the only competitor left, Sophia wins by default...and continues eating. The two cast members who didn't compete just roll their eyes; they knew this would happen.

Nothing of much interest happens for the rest of the day. The cast wanders off to their rooms and goes to sleep.

Day 6

Everyone awakens and rushes downstairs for breakfast, stuffing their faces at warp speed...of coarse, that's what normally happens. Today, Sophia rushes downstairs ahead of everyone else and slams the end of the table with her fist, flipping the other end into the air and causing all the food to fly into her mouth. Roger arrives just in time to be squished as the table completes its flip. The others are forced to forage in the pantry for their breakfasts, amidst angry grumbles.

"Something has to be done about that gluttonous wench," Albel snarls to the others.

"So you're on our side now?" Fayt asks hopefully.

"Only for the time being," Albel growls, loathing this turn of events.

As the others plot against her, Sophia dashes about the house looking for more food...and doing about as much damage as a steamroller. What do the others have in mind? We'll just have to wait and see. Considering the three minds collaborating on this project, you shouldn't hold your breath. Meanwhile, Roger has managed to crawl out from under the table and his paramedics have carried him away.

The rest of the day goes by slowly and, for the most part, uneventfully, as Sophia goes about her usual foraging and the others try to come up with a scheme.

Day 7

This is it: someone's last day in the house. The others chow down as Roger tries to remove Albel's knife from his forehead; it was thrown there to keep Roger from getting the last waffle (a classic "Leggo my Eggo!" moment). After breakfast, the cast scurries off to make mischief.

Bored, Albel decides to go Roger hunting. He finds the 'rodent fool' playing with his action figures in the living room. He walks up to him and stomps on the action figures, grinding them into the floor with his boots (of coarse, Roger was holding the figures at the time, so his hands were mutilated as well). Albel then lifts Roger by the collar of his shirt, pulls the pin out of a grenade with his teeth, shoves said grenade down the Menodix's throat, and throws him out a window. A moment later, a loud "BOOM!" is heard and bits of dirt and bloody brat are flung through the window. Laughing, Albel walks out of the room.

Later, towards lunch time, the others notice that Sophia is missing again. This time, they call the police to file a missing persons report. They then plop down in front of the tv to see what's being done to find their missing glutton.

Suddenly, the usually scheduled program is interrupted by a news broadcast. The cast laughs as a picture of Sophia is displayed on screen, where everyone watching can see just how fat she is. The description they gave of her is also read: light brown hair, green eyes, 5,000 pounds, etc. The cast roars with laughter. They laugh even harder when the news guy says that Sophia is "Missing and presumed eating".

Just then, Sophia walks in, the back end of a cow hanging out of her mouth. She slurps the cow, still mooing, and walks into the living room to find the others. There she sees them howling with laughter at her picture on the tv. Furious, she does a body slam on the entire couch, crushing everyone. Everyone but Sophia spends the rest of the day in recovery.

RESULT: Maria has been voted out!

Ok, this is the last one I have finished for now. I'm over half-way through week 7 right now, but still need some more time. Sorry about the wait! And comments are still greatly appreciated. Got an idea? Tell me about it and it may appear in an upcoming week!


End file.
